Talking Labels. Designed for medicinal purposes, but shirley there must be other uses? £6.99 for 60 second of label chat.  Talking Labels attach to standard packaging and allow you to record and store a voice message, which can then be played back at any time with the push of a button….The re-recordable voice message could include the name of the patient, a description of the medication, dosage instructions and any important warning notes. A clear audible message will allow the…

The Double Vision DV Pro HeadCam. Tape or hard disk storage, 2 – 46 hour hour recording (4 to 6 hour battery), yours for a mere £2,499.00. Supercalafragalisticexpialidoshus. [Thanks Liz]  The digital video recorder (DVR) used for the DV Pro system is the world’s first hand-held video recorder and contains the most sophisticated and advanced digital technology currently available. It is designed for demanding professions and fits into a unit not much larger than a mobile phone. The hard disk can be…

The Google Illuminator Umbrella. An LED shafted umbrella to help you find your way through the thunderstorms of life’s challenges and surprises. Oh the poetry of it… $32.75.  This handsome black nylon model sports a Google logo, has a 48” arc, reliable fiberglass ribs, an illuminated shaft, and that all-important LED light display in two speeds, steady or blinking. There’s an easy on-off switch and a comfortable carrying loop on the handle, too.

The Baby Bottom Fan. Because a dry bottie is a healthy bottie. And the Ferret most definitely salutes the integrated anti-microbial fragrance dispenser. Big time.  Use at every diaper change ! Eliminate wetness – the number one cause of diaper rash. Foamed sponge fan blades are absolutely safe for touch…Anti-microbial fragrance(such as lavender) protects your baby from skin ailments and it also sooths your baby from any agony. Contains soothing essences of lavender, sweet smells to bring sweet dreams. It is very…

The Progressive Scan Component Box. €54.90. Watch high resolution progressive scan images on your VGA monitor or projector. Supports consoles an’ stuff. Cool…  The Component VGA box offers the ultimate picture quality on your VGA monitor or VGA projector. The first adapter to truly support progressive scan modes such as 480p, 540p, 576p (50Hz) and 720p it is the perfect accessory for high-resolution playback of DVD, HDTV, XBox, Gamecube and latest PS2 models.

The e-Acu Pen. Non invasive acupuncture therapy without needles. Next week, creating the perfect apple pie without apples. Yummy. £24.00.  Acupuncture stimulation in a clean and painless way. No needles or piercing of the skin required. Based on traditional Chinese medicine. Locates acupuncture points for stimulation with audible signal. Adjustable intensity and duration of treatments. Helps with the control of many ailments. Full instructions and diagrams included.

The Earlarm II is a personal alarm clock. Set it, stick it in your ear and…Price? Who cares?  Earlarm is the world’s first ear-holding timer alarming device. Its compact and light design aIIows you carry it wherever you are and whatever you do, during housekeeping,traveling, going to and coming home from office, studying, and so forth. You can set timing of alarm up to 7 hours and 50 minutes by 5 minute increment with 6 minute’s key and SO minute’s…

The Lotus ATS-909 Smart Toilet is the world’s first…ahem…enema dispensing loo seat. Complete with dryer, deoderizer, heated seat and remote control. Oh, and did we mention it’s a 20 minute DIY install? They’re also apparently available for sale in Flushing, New York…[OK, quit while you’re ahead – Ed]. $499.00.  Water stream with adjustable pressure and temperature washes the anal area, making the cleaning thorough and comfortable. This is a new level of personal hygiene. Good for everybody, especially those who suffer from…

The Karlsson Digi Bell Alarm Clock. A timepiece so cool it’s made my nose bleed. £30.00.  Innovative alarm clock designed for Karlsson by Elke van Raamsdonk .Chrome steel silver unit with red lcd display and alarm.

The uConnect VoIP socket plugs into a USB port and lets you make Internet phone calls (including Skype) using any standard DECT or wired landline phone. Pretty cool stuff, or am I missing something here? Around £39.99/$59.99.  Bringing endless opportunites to the choice of hardware for use with VoIP, cordless and DECT phones can be connected for wireless VoIP calls. The uConnect works perfectly with all Skype’s services; Skype users can hook any regular phone to it and experience amazing call management.

The Vidster is clearly a ‘catch ‘em young’ type of product. A small $80.00 plastic…cough…camcorder designed for youngsters. Quite why kids would want to mess with a grey plastic tacky-toy when they can happily drop the real thing that you’ve forgotten to move to a higher shelf is beyond me. Another unmarried marketing man’s dream?  It comes with a 32MB starter card, which will hold about six to eight minutes of video, at 320-by-240 resolution at 15 frames per second….

The TwinhanDTV Alpha. A mobile HDTV solution. It’s small, USB 2.0 powered and gives you HDTV and digital radio on your laptop. Complete with PVR features and…get this…direct to DVD live recording. So do stop your whining. Around £64.00.  High speed USB 2.0 transmission gives you superb resolution of HDTV without ghost and snow. The user-friendly software allows you to explore the versatile functionality of this product. Experience the impressive quality of HDTV, TwinhanDTV Alpha makes it just easier for…

A tale of two products. Spyfinder. $149.99.  Simply look through the viewing port and depress the button to activate the LEDs. Slowly scan areas where hidden cameras are suspected and look for bright reflected spots. Remember, most hidden video cameras use pinhole camera lenses, so the spot you are looking for could be small. Hidden Camera Locator. $3,190.00.  The way it works is very simple, you look through the View Finder, the VCL while “ON” emits a laser like beam,…

The EFX Phone. A rather swish looking deskphone with a rather naughty purpose. Press a button and trigger any of eight ‘fun sound effects’. The perfect gift for the telemarketing victim in your family? The machine gun sounds -along with some suitable screams – should be good for a hoot! $19.50.  This sound effects telephone allows you to insert 8 fun sound effects into every call. The Wise Cracks phone helps get you off the phone quickly and drives annoying…

The Universal SIM Card Reader and Writer. Quick and dirty way of manipulating the data on your mobile phone SIM card without cable, infrared or other hassles. Just plug and play, which sounds good to me. You? $29.00.  This GSM Sim reader allows you to read, backup and modify information you may carry in your sim card. It allows you to store, read and edit phonebook data and sms messages.