The 9999 in 1 games console. $10.95. The Ferret got caught out once before with one of these supposed uber games consoles (actually only had 100 games in it). Call us gullible but here’s another one. Now c’mon, why do you folks keep reading our drivel, it’s quite clear that we’re dumb as a rock!  9999 Computer Games and Calculator. Features tons of games: super brick games, shooting brick games, bowling games, boxing games, car racing games, pinball games, space invaders games, shooting…

The Payphone Alarm Clock Bank. Shame this isn’t a real payphone too. That would be super silly…neat. $45.00.  The hour and minute hands glow in the dark for easy readability at night. The alarm feature sounds like the ringing of a telephone with some background music. When the On / Off switch is pressed an operator will say “Good Morning! In order to speak 3 minutes more, please deposit twenty-five cents.”

The Slide Rule Watch. I’m sorry, but to do this properly they really ought to have made it steam driven too. But hey, it’s a start. $250.00.  This watch from Torgoen will allow you to step back in time a little bit. Featuring a circular slide rule that can solve time, distance and speed equations, it can also perform a wide variety of calculations. These include currency conversions, multiplication and division and any conversion of a linear nature such as…

May we gently suggest that you forego the traditional annual pilgrimage to Nevada this year and stay home with the family and your 19 inch Mega Million Slot machine instead? You’ll probably save much more than $330.00.  Identical sounds and lights of real machines. Pull the handle to spin the reels. Automatic jackpot releases all the coins.

Take one European Solar Oven (Specially designed mirrors collect solar energy and concentrate it…enough to boil, stew, grill, or bake most foods in one to two hours) a Picnic Table in a box (portable solid ash table set and nylon umbrella that unfolds from its own integrated 12” x 48” case…less than two minutes of setup), throw in a Rolling Cooler with Radio (has multiple insulated sections, durable wheels, and a built-in AM/FM radio, all of which you can pull behind you…

The Sonic Devestator. $300.00 assembled. Scary sausages.  This handheld space age weapon of the future is powered by (2) 9 volt batteries conatined [sic] within the handle. It is capable of emitting intense ultrasonic blasts from its output transducer…It is effective for approximately 20ft but some people are even effected at distances as great as 50ft… A good example of the type of irritation it produces is to say its like somebody scratching their fingernails on a chalkboard but at 130…

The Magnatune TunePlug. Neat idea indeed, John. Flash memory drive + 10 MP3 albums on board. [Thanks RC]  Magnatune TunePlug is an MP3 collection of 10 complete rock albums on a reusable USB 2.0 Flash Drive. The MP3 music tracks can be played and transferred to any computer or portable player. The TunePlug can be reused to transport or store files on Windows, Mac or Linux computer.

The eTray portable desktop. Complete with laminated custom artwork designed deck, with matching screensaver and Windows wallpaper. Co-ordinated laptop chic, how cool is that? And we don’t mind that you pinched our name guys (just kidding). £29.95.  An eTray consists of a hardwearing laminated tray attached to an insulated conformable beanbag lap pad…An eTray provides your laptop PC with a stable, portable working surface, and will allow you to use your computer in comfort in almost any location you choose.

Omnia 5500ND Hot Line phone. Nothing says more about how important you are than a really bright red phone. No dial, just the constant threat of “I’m afraid that we have a situation here, Mr President.” $60.00.  Use this phone for answer-only applications, or when connected to a ring-down circuit or a phone system that’s programmed for automatic dialing when the handset is picked up.

The Multifunction Car Utility Tool. You know the Ferret hearts convergence, doncha? Well here’s a doozy. Flashing flashlight [Eh?…Ed], radio, siren, glass breaking hammer and seat belt cutter. Because you never know when you’re going to need to listen to some good tunes just after cutting yourself out of that car wreck, eh? Classic stuff.  # Battery/dynamo # Torch (LED light in white color) # Flash light (using 4 red LED lights) # AM/FM radio # Siren and blinking lights # Glass…

The Chalk Mug. Why waste energy talking? Scritch, scritch – ‘pass the butter please’. £4.99 ($8.07)  Sick of post-its? Well, the makers of this ingenious coffee mug decided to glaze it with a chalk board surface allowing for easy-wipe messaging. It comes with its own stick of chalk, so no need to ask your little niece to rip one off from school. Great for morning love notes to your sweetie or for leaving that dreaded message to your boss… “I need a…

The Soundgraph iMon Station may sound like a Scottish railwayman in an agreeable mood, but this USB IR receiver with remote control actually looks like quite a useful tool for your media center type set up. $59.95 or less.  Maximum Signal Reception Distance : 15M Signal Reception Angle : 45 degree in all directions

A real gentleman wouldn’t be seen dead with his shirt cuffs askew. Hence the uber usefulness of these Emergency Cufflinks. £7.99 ($12.92)  This wafer thin sheet of etched steel, comes complete with two pairs of twist-out emergency cufflinks for all those times (and oh how many have their been!) when you’ve left your real ones behind or more probably just lost one of them. They are quite simply, brilliant.