Monthly Archives: October 2004

general October 22, 2004 posted by

Wandering.

The Ferret is once again a-wandering to lands afar, and so will not be posting – probably – until the 3rd November. Will you miss him, or will your love, like an over-ripe and putrifying turnip, decompose into a forgetful yellowing mush? Only time – and possibly William Shatner – will tell. Hopefully in the future, once the Ferret gets his tiny brain around the intricacies of this brave new WordPress universe, the Journal will be able to support guest…

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general October 22, 2004 posted by

Puff off.

The Matmos Air Switch lamp. Flap and glow. Kinda. £39.95. ‘For some unfathomable reason, waving your hand just above the rim of the Air Switch in a gentle, ‘These aren’t the droids you’re looking for’ fashion turns it on, whilst brightness is controlled via an up/down, Benny-Hill-slapping-that-bald-bloke-in-slo/mo movement. We really can’t overstate how impressive all this is.’

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general October 22, 2004 posted by

Hug a hub.

The Sitecom USB Notebook Hub looks kind of dinky and maybe even a little useful in the correct circumstances. ‘The USB notebook Hub enables you to connect several USB peripherals via the computer’s USB port. The four reliable USB ports ensure precise and trouble-free transfer of data. The notebook Hub fits exactly in the PC card slot of a notebook, so the Hub is always available.’

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general October 22, 2004 posted by

Eye-fo, eye-fo, it’s off to work…

The Eye-Fo Computerised Frisbee is apparently ‘set to become this year’s phenomenon’. Not sure what kind, but let’s go along with it for a while, shall we? £11.95. ‘The EYE-FO packs an on-board computer that can be easily programmed with any text message up to thirteen letters long. The lights are sensitive to the frequency at which the EYE-FO spins, so ensuring that the message is crystal clear in daylight, and at night it leaves a trail like a shooting…

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general October 22, 2004 posted by

Blimp-o-Rama.

The Blimp Bomber. Amazing what you can do nowadays with a bit of plastic tape, some helium and leftover foam shapes eh? £69.95 ($114.42). ‘Each bomb has a magnetic ‘nose’ to hold them in place within the Blimp’s bomb bay until you’re ready to begin your bombing raid. Just attach the nose to the yellow target within the bomb bay, and the bomb is safely held until you press the ‘bomb release’ button on the transmitter.’

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general October 22, 2004 posted by

Ma body, mon!

The Slim de Major. Sad tech. ‘This "Slim de Major" is a device about the size of a Tamagotchi, and has a tape measure included. You enter your body measurements, and apparently you also input your exercise activities. It keeps track of this data, and judging from the game icons, it tells you whether you are fat, thin, or have a big butt.’

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general October 21, 2004 posted by

Heard it verbatim.

The Verbatim 5 in 1 Store n’Go. 128MB of RAM, video recorder (640×480 , 30fps), Digicam (3000 photos), Web cam, voice recorder. Around about £50.00. Plus freephone tech support. Bargin’. ‘Every business traveller knows just how much office related paraphernalia they have to take with them to keep them abreast of what’s happening at the office while they are on the move. Leading media storage company, Verbatim, took a long hard look at what the average business person needs when…

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general October 21, 2004 posted by

Bedside manner.

The Bedside Assistant. $34.95. No really, I so get it, don’t you? The 3am startled twitch in bed as you remember that you forgot to buy the crucial bag of cat litter and treats, the fumble around in the dark for pen in drawer, the dropping, the swearing, the slow build up of tension which stops you falling back to sleep once you’ve made the note. It’s a slice of true life. ‘Just pull out Bedside Assistant’s pen and a…

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general October 21, 2004 posted by

Body bop.

The Total Innerscan. £129.99. Look, you don’t want to just measure your weight ‘cos that’s for wussies. You really really want to measure your Visercal Fat Rating, Bone Mass, Basal Metabolic Rate, Metabolism Age, Muscle Mass, Physique Rating, Athlete Mode, Body Fat % and….gasp…. Body Water %. Then kill yourself.

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general October 21, 2004 posted by

Pino blanc.

Pino. The sensitive robot. And don’t say that you haven’t thought about putting a robot on yer Xmas list, because we all know you have. Who d’ya think your kidding with that faux ‘I’m far too mature’ attitude, anyway? Tshaw! ‘Depending on the amount of tender loving care/mild disinterest/plastic-shattering violence you subject him to, Pino develops one of three personalities: shy, naughty, or friendly, which affects the way he responds to commands. Pino has a head sensor, two hand sensors,…

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general October 21, 2004 posted by

Lycos 10GB email.

Mmm, Lycos UK has introduced a 10GB premium email service. It’s not free (and they haven’t updated the Web site yet – tsk) but what makes it interesting and perhaps a real alternative to GMail is that it comes with a free Online File Storage Drive included as standard. That’s 10 GB of mail and file storage for £3.49 plus SMS messaging and a choice of free personalised email address (e.g. [email protected]). This is a seriously cool offer I reckon,…

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general October 20, 2004 posted by

Dr Livingstone…

The Explorist eXplorist 300. $229.99. A very pretty GPS thingy indeed. Right, where’s those rugged outdoor places I keep hearing about? ‘eXplorist 300 gives you a trio of advanced tools for even easier navigation. The barometer provides information on changing weather. The altimeter easily determines your present elevation. And the electronic compass shows your direction, even while standing still. eXplorist 300 includes 8 MB of built-in maps, three navigational screens and 8 MB of memory to save 5 track log…

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general October 20, 2004 posted by

Snap, crackle, pop…

Snap, Crackle, Pop kit. $24.99. Look there’s nothing more important of a cold winter’s evening – California residents please move on, nothing to see here – than to laze around in front of a cheery fire. Oops, ours is gas powered. ‘Wish your vented gas fireplace had the sounds and scents of a real wood fire? Now it can with these Fireplace Sound & Scent Kits. Designed to work safely with any standard vented gas fireplace, these kits will transform…

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general October 20, 2004 posted by

Wherever I lay my hat…

The IPWireless Desktop Modem. You know how you hate to be stuck in the caravan down at the remote woodland holiday spot without high speed Web access? Well now you can stick your 3G SIM card into this puppy, plug it into yer hardware and bingo….er….assuming you’ve got 3G coverage in your remote woodland holiday spot. ‘The IP Wireless Desktop Modem gives consumer and business users the speed of broadband Internet access, the freedom of portability and the ease of…

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general October 20, 2004 posted by

Alcoholic sundancer.

The Alcohol Tester pen. £19.99. As you may know, towards the end of the year in the UK a few peeps have been known to over indulge in two great national pastimes – drinking alcohol and sun-bathing. Hence the need for an alcohol testing pen which also doubles up as a UV tester. Just to be on the safe side, you understand!

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