For those of you from foreign climates (i.e. anywhere outside the M25 motorway in the UK) who may be considering heading to London for the Olympics 2012 this month, we have a little tool we feel you may want to consider downloading for your Android smartphone. It’s (possibly) guaranteed to help you save the day if you’re in a social situation near the Olympic Village and find yourself grasping for a conversational gambit or two.

The English Cockney Dictionary for Android is designed to help you converse intelligently with some of the capital city’s most important people - the taxi (that’s cab to you, chum) drivers, stall holders and market sellers down the cobblestone backstreets of Larndon Tain. OK, so not really, but if you really want to make a fool of yourself impress the locals, one way to do it is to try and come out with some real Cockney rhyming slang like a native and see how much of a discount it gets you for your trouble. Hint: zero!

But for a bit of a laugh, we dare you to install this and try it out on some poor unsuspecting Londoner and see what reaction you get. Chances are it’ll be a blank stare and a step backwards, but at least you’ll be able to walk away with a suitably haughty smirk, having demonstrated your impeccable linguistic credentials.