Opening mail with human hands can be a somewhat bothersome task. Not only do you have to fidget through trying to pry paper from paper that it’s glued to, but you also need to take care to not rip the contents as well. The best methodology to make the envelope reveal its contents is to use a letter opener. However, a crafty foe such as this shouldn’t be taken lightly, as you can walk away from this battle with a paper cut.

If you want to ensure victory in this fight, you should stock your armory with the Star Trek Bat’leth Letter Opener. You are to use it as if it were an extension of your hand, and you will be able to slice through your enemy with ease. Well, the envelope that is. Do be careful when around other people, as this thing is actually sharp enough to cause injury. It will cost about $25, and comes with a resin cast display stand.