Well it had to happen. While we were all looking over our shoulders at the Terminator class robots, with steely eyes and a fondness for ripping heads off tourists, the Japanese have been perfecting the most dangerous and sinister robots of all. The household pet. You think we’re joking? Well just take a look at their latest offering.

The Zuru Robo Fish may look innocent enough. “Aw, mom look, it’s Nemo and isn’t it just so cute?” Sure sure, they look cute now, swimming about digging in the dirt, clustering together hunting for food. Hold on, how do they do that? And how have the manufacturers made them so realistic? They sink to the bottom of the water, then swim up and down and round…they’re so lifelike. Amazing!

Anyway, we digress. Sure they may look like fun creatures to have now, what with not needing any food, and not dying at the drop of a hat and all, but just imagine what will happen if they’re successful? That’s right, out will come the Robo Cats and Robo Dogs and Robo Hamsters, and all of a sudden every home will have a robo-pet installed, which the kids love, and which come with centrally managed, computer controlled PetCloud emotions.

Run by a company called SkyNet. You get the idea? So listen, don’t be fooled into buying one of these faux-critters, will you? Even if they’re only $14.99 each (water and aquarium extra). Because you’ll be dooming our future to a bleak, barren, war scarred crust. You’ve been warned.