The Stunning Ring. $39.95. So, am I hot or not?

‘THE STUNNING RING ring uses the strongest pepper spray formula available on the market today. The formula has the industry’s highest heat rating of 2 million SHU (compared to a jalapeno pepper, which is 5000 SHU), which severely affects the mucous membranes (eyes and respiratory systems). The ring has 2-3 one second burst and has an effective range of 12 inches.’

L’espion XS. �79.99.

You realise that life is becoming a little surreal when a consumer grade cheapo digicam comes standard with automatic body heat sensing Infrared triggering technology. Just how many covert shots of dad staggering through the door legless at dawn do we need, m’lud?

‘The only camera in the world with Body heat sensor to trigger photograph [sic] (Infra Red Technology). Takes an image whenever the camera detects body heat up to 5 metres…Takes timed photo sequence – Set the camera to take an image every 1, 2, 5, 10,…90 minutes over a period of up to 6 days… Time and date stamped on each surveillance photograph.’