The Ionic Air Purifying Tree. $99.95. Clearly trees in their present form are simply not up to the task of scrubbing our deficient atmosphere. Cue the bionic, ionic version. Golly, how lucky are we?
Restore the natural balance of the air in your home. The difference? Its patented carbon filament ionization system. How it works: First, the air passes through 5 layers of purification ensuring that dust and dirt are paralyzed in their tracks (all 5 layers are self-contained in a single easy-to-clean air filtering cassette that never needs replacing). Second, once the air is cleansed, the patented carbon filament gives the air its power-punch scrubbing ionizing (carbon is a magnet for odorous contaminates too).
No good. I want an air-purifying loo brush. Far more useful.
I’m surprised that Airwick hasn’t obliged already. :-0