The Samsung E1200 mobile phone is a telephone that lets you make phone calls from just about anywhere in your country there’s a signal. It has a battery that will keep running for 3 weeks at a time on standby, and let you talk for around 7 hours before it runs out. Which makes the paltry few minutes you get on your fancy smartphone rather pathetic, don’t you think?
Sure it won’t ding you when a Facebook notification comes in, and it has no camera, no WiFi, no Bluetooth, no music player, no apps or games and most certainly no new fangled stuff like GPS. Oh and no memory card or touchscreen, or Twitter or Instagram or email or…well you get the picture. Which is more than this phone can do.
It can, however, grab the slowest, most frustrating, sluggish and pathetic Internet you’ll ever see, making downloading a single email from Gmail as tortuous as watching England play cricket on a rainy day in Birmingham. It has a single processor core running at 156Mhz, and a 1.52 inch screen and costs £0.49 to buy new on an upgrade plan. Isn’t it gorgeous?