It’s a real shame we don’t have a category for vomit inducing, but since we’re limited, we’ll have to tag this under B for bleuch! Strictly catering for those people who clearly will never ever ride a bicycle in their lives – yeah sure, you’re going to park your 24K Gold Men’s Racing Bike right outside McDonalds while you hop in for a quick hot apple pie – this is definitely the most ridiculous gift idea ever.
The bike is a clearly standard hybrid model, which has had all the visible parts coated in 24K gold. Because, you know, gold is such a practical metal to be used in something that rides on rough, dirty stinking roads.
We’re not even going to ask how you’re supposed to keep the thing lubricated so it runs properly, presumably you get your butler to lube it up before you ride, and then clean it down when you get back so it stays looking lovely and shiny. Stop us, before we die with jealousy.
The worst of it is, the thing is also offered with various luxury materials where the metal don’t shine, like a suede saddle, ‘exotic skins’ (yay, another critter bites the dust for a monstrous ego) and a variety of precious stones, including of course diamonds. We’re know you’ve already got your credit card out and waiting, so if you’ll just pop it into this slot we’ll deduct the minimum price of £250,000 from your account and you can be on your way. Thank you for your business.