Please don’t watch these videos of cute, talented, gifted and oh so young toddler prodigies if you wish to remain upbeat and confident of your personal achievements for the rest of the day. Just don’t OK?
- Ryota Dances. Five years old and that good at Dance Dance Revolution? No please….
- Jack Skates. Nope, there’s no way this is a 3 year old skateboarder. Nope, not possible. He’s gotta be 18, right?
- Zach Paints. Zach doesn’t just paint, he paints. Right? Paints. With his fingers. If I paint this well when I’m 90 I’ll die happy.
- Shuan Plays Piano. Dude, there ought to be a law that 4 year olds who can’t reach the pedals are not allowed near a piano. No really…
- Xylophone Mistress. She’s 3, North Korean and impossibly good with those keys and hammers. In fact it’s obvious she’s a robot. Honest.
- Jaxon Bikes. I think we should remember that at 3 years old one should be bumping into things. Not leaping over them with glee.
- Bag that Basket. Huh, that’s nothing. So what if the basketball is almost bigger than he is? Anyone could nail those baskets easy.
- Rubik Rattles. She’s not 3 years old. Show me her passport. Yeah and birth certificate. And get her out of that darn high-chair, NOW!
- Rock that Organ. I just love those little hand twirls in the air during the interval bits. No I don’t, I was lying…
- Akim Plays Violin. 2.5 years old, on that huge stage with that massive orchestra, remembering that whole piece? Unbelievable!
- Igor Does Drums. And boy does he do drums. Four years old and rocking like a veteran. Pah, the kid’s just lucky…
- Braydon Sinks a Few. So golf is not skillful, anyone knows that. All you gotta do is hit a ball a few yards and sink a putt or two. Hah!
- Rurichan Band. We’re talking a rock band of under 10s here. The drummer is 4 and only just stopped with the nappies. Ridiculous!
- Georgia Does Mensa. No video, just a 2 year old with a MENSA rated IQ of 152. Proportionally about on a par with Prof Hawking.
There you go. Please now all return to your ordinary and very humdrum lives. I intend to go lie down somewhere quiet for a while.