Red Ferret Sandbox

This Hair Robot promises to make your scalp gleam in ways you can only imagine. It comes with a complete set of curling tongs, a new apron so you won’t dirty your floor and lots of cream to make things sting less afterwards. The specifications of this puppy would put a space shuttle to shame. There’s a big motor in the front, plus a smaller one at the back, and in the middle there’s a lever which you can push to get instant hot coffee out of the spout. You need more?

Priced at a stonking £2220 and worth every penny I reckon.

Just checking to see whether this raw plugin works as advertised. Thanks for watching.

The Prepara Power Plant Mini is a dirt free, hydroponics system which promises to deliver fast ‘abundant harvests’ of your favourite herbs and other flora. Now, we’re not going to carp here, but y’know a little brown pot and some compost has been known to work quite well in these circumstances too. Anyhoo, cleverer people than us will probably cough up the $39.95 for the unit and $9.95 for the nutrient refills with a happy smile as they reap their sowing and stuff.

…experiment with any seed. from a catalog, hardware store, web site, supermarket, you’ll find an abundance of affordable seeds available to try. the power plant mini is truly a marvel! it’s easy to set up and simple to use. just seed it, feed it and leave it! you’ll see the simplicity of the power plants growing technology allows you to be bug, worm and dirt free. It sits discreetly on your sunny window sill, is very low maintenance, grows quicker and fuller plants and takes the guesswork out of growing.

This 7 Piece Mobile Phone Tool Set has got to be the perfect present for the nerd in your life, if you get our drift. You’ve got panel openers, security ‘drivers, star tools – like they’re gonna be prodding and poking for literally weeks with this puppy. Little grins on their faces, dribble down the chin, pocket protector a wobbiln’. Who wouldn’t want that for their loved one, eh? £10.99 plus a free subscription to Tool User Monthly. Nah just kidding.

The Lifemax Sneezer Beam promises to vaporize your nasty hay fever problems through the canny use of light. Simply stick the two frickin’ laser light beam rods into your nasal cavities and let the photons ‘inhibit the cells that release histamine’. Three minutes a day, three times a day should do it. Or your snuffles back. £39.95.

Sneezer Beam is an amazing medical breakthrough in the way we treat the symptoms of rhinitis and hay fever. A medically approved device with full CE certification, it uses dual-wavelength phototherapy to relieve allergic symptoms like congestion, runny nose, watery eyes and headaches. It works by emitting combined dual beams of 940 and 652 nanometres into the nostrils. This natural, non-invasive therapy inhibits the cells that release histamine, significantly reducing allergic reactions and inflammation of the sensitive mucous membranes.

The Spacearium is more like a structural artifact than an aquarium. We’re talking 78 gallons of water and an 8 foot length, suspended or hung in suitably chic locations for the enviousness of friends and neighbours. Of course there’s no telling how the poor fish feel about their trendy but sterile habitat, but since when did we worry about them eh? Priced at around $8400 and up.

Treesize Free is one of my favourite freeware programs, because it’s so darn useful. Every so often I pop it open and press scan to take a look at the files and folders that are hogging space on my hard drive. And I never cease to be amazed at the results. For instance yesterday I ran a quick scan and discovered that Joost is using a whopping 1 GB + of my drive