If you ever needed proof that money has no brains, look no further than this new line of clothing and accessories from Private Haute Couture which literally boggles the mind.

The idea apparently seems to consist of ‘skin it, with diamonds’, which seems like a great idea. Not. The result is a range of totally custom designed clothing, where you decide what you’d like and they come up with the result, in a range of materials from ostrich to python and crocodile.

The fact that normal people probably wouldn’t be seen dead walking down the street in a ‘baby blue python leather jacket with purple stitching’ is probably irrelevant for the obscenely rich bozos who’ll be buying this stuff. You see you get your own name stitched in as the label, and the buttons and zippers can feature gold, platinum, embellished with diamonds and mother of pearl.

The company also offers a range of accessories, such as this ostrich leather iPhone case with yellow (we’d call it puke, really) stitching. The real kicker though, is that every product comes with an integrated anti-theft device, which links to the lucky buyer’s phone app, in case the garment goes walkies. Yet one more reason to keep your phone turned off as much as possible, we’re thinking.

We don’t have any idea how much this stuff costs in general, but you can get a rough idea by the fact that the Dubai (oh yes, but you knew that didn’t you?) based company is trumpeting the launch of the world’s first $1 million jacket. You’ve got to laugh haven’t you?

Watch the video, it’s a cracker!!