St Isidore. $4.95. ‘Next time you make the journey into cyberspace, let St. Isidore protect you from slow connections, bogus information, and objectionable material. St. Isidore compiled a 20-volume, encyclopedia-style reference in the 6th century called “The Etymologies” that served as the internet of its time. His immeasurable influence in the world of education has earned Saint Isidore the unofficial title of “Patron Saint of the Internet.”‘

Yea, and I am a generous Ferret. For verily I give to you www.redferret.net To calm thy troubled breast And make easy passage to news of yore.

The Phonesafe. �9.99. ‘Hands free carrying convenience for your mobile phone. The ‘Phone Safe’ can be worn under clothes or on show. You can use it in situ, you know where it is and its your choice if others do or not!’ Part of the Karrysafe range of anti-theft products like the Karryfront Screamer (the bag not the girl, I think).

The Real Man Saddle ‘kicks butt’. ‘The Real MAN saddle is made from solid granite from Canada’s rugged Gasp� peninsula, shaped and smoothed by eons of pounding by powerful Atlantic breakers. The Real MAN � saddle is tough enough to stand up to whatever you can dish out! To get yours, email $259.95 in U.S. currency along with a minimum 50 cc blood sample…We will perform a chemical analysis of your blood sample to determine if your testosterone level is…

Er..Thinkum? ‘Thinkum is scientifically formulated to improve your mental state by giving your fingers something fun to do while your brain concentrates on larger tasks. Use it to pull anger and impatience away from your frontal lobe. Give dull moments a creative twist. Put a humorous “pop” in a tedious job. Like a tactile Rorschach test, Thinkum can make any situation literally putty in your hands.’

The GE Bug Lite. 12 pack $41.88. ‘Want to avoid attracting pests to your patio party or dinner on the deck? Illuminate the night with a GE Bug Lite. These bulbs contain a special coating that makes light invisible to flying bugs, so they aren’t drawn to it.Conventional lights have transmission in the UV range – the part of the range to which they are attracted. The yellow pigment used to coat the GE Bug Lite filters out light in…

I mention Big Oven recipe software – out of the gazillion such products out there – simply because of the rather funky feature set! $29.99. Witness – recipes formatted for Palm and Pocket PCs, add your own photos to recipes (scary, but potentially lots of fun!), and even RSS recipe feeds. All that’s missing is a Symbian version. Oh and they have over 100,000 recipes stored on line for your delectation.

I don’t know, is this Dodgy Product of the Year or genius at work? The thought of hordes of get-fresh, twenty-somethings all feverishly brushing their grimy teeth in public with the new Oral-B Brush Ups ‘textured teeth wipes’ is kind of scary. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘giving him the finger’, though, doesn’t it? ‘Now you can get that just-brushed feeling anytime, anywhere. With Oral-B Brush-Ups textured teeth wipes, all you have to do is rip one…

The folk at Zeevo have developed a chipset which is the first in the world to be able to deliver CD quality audio over a Bluetooth [PDF] wireless link. Which will undoubtedly be A Good Thing! ‘Today�s announcement means that Bluetooth � the increasingly available wireless standard for connecting personal use devices with their peripherals � can finally be applied to portable MP3 players, MP3-capable cell phones or PDAs, and even consumer stereo systems, to provide wireless connections to stereo…

Scriptblaster. ‘Screenwriters pitch your movie to Hollywood by email.’ I’m gonna be rich, rich I tell you! ‘Imagine opening your email inbox and finding multiple requests from movie producers and agents to read YOUR screenplay! Scriptblaster can make it happen for you! With direct email access to over 1,000 film producers, agents and managers, getting results is simple with Scriptblaster. Just send us your query letter and we will e-query the appropriate industry professionals on your behalf. We can even…

Bibster. A P2P bibliographic research tool. So they’re trying to ban P2P are they? What a shame that there are so many valuable and completely legal applications out there, eh? Also you boffin types should check out the Citeseer Scientific Literature Digital Library. It looks quite cool. ‘Bibster is a Java-based system which assists researchers in managing, searching, and sharing bibliographic metadata (e.g. from BibTeX files) in a peer-to-peer network. The advantage of the system is it provides the possibility…

Memo To Me. This somewhat conventional reminder service for birthdays, anniversaries etc is made interesting by a new SMS feature. Free and Platinum versions available. ‘Memo to Me now supports Short Message Service (SMS) for fast and reliable messaging to mobile phones all over the world. Memo to Me Platinum Edition members can simply enter their mobile phone number and have their personal reminders and email sent directly to their mobile phones. Since we have to pay a fee to…

OK, so a TFT screen table mirror could be considered a little weird. But hey, it’s a free world. Diff’rent Strokes and all that. Live a little, why doncha? [Via Popgadget] ‘An integrated visible surface in TFT display technology allows high-resolution colour films or PC presentations to be played back practically �in the mirror�. Use this innovative medium for your product advertisements or image films. Create the impulse to buy! With its extremely flat monitor system and through the exclusive…

Good day. I understand Sir was wondering where Sir could obtain a Star Trek Next Gen uniform for Sir’s discreet role playing..ahem..adventures? Step this way please. $35.00 tops only. And perhaps madam would like to try this Security Chief Odo jumpsuit for the child?

I really like the idea of a Dummy Alarm Control Panel. Not because I’ve got anything worth stealing…sigh…but I rather fancy standing there at the front door officiously pushing buttons and making beeping sounds for all the world to see I’m a real playa. $29.98. ‘LED lights flashing in sequence and periodic beeps convince would-be intruders your alarm system is armed. When you press the authentic keypad, each key press emits a beep. When you enter the password, the panel…