We’ve covered the online versions before, but now you can download yer very own free l337 sp34k translator and make like the ru|)3 h4X0r you are. Enjoy! W3’v3 c0v3r3d teh 0n1in3 v3r5i0nz b3f0r3, bu7 n0w j00 c4n d0wn104d y3r v3ry 0wn phr33 1337 5p34k 7r4n51470r 4nd m4k3 1ik3 teh rud3 hax0r3r j00 4r3.

I’ve got to say that I don’t really get it, but for those that do, the Text to Image Converter. Maybe it’s an age thang?

Why is it that not even the awful hospital blue colour of the interior and external paint job can take away the niggling feeling that the decision to use a Lamborghini as a police pursuit vehicle is nothing more than a massive toy for the boys play? After all we are talking about Italy here, aren’t we?

The Pistol Mouse. For those truly tense capture the frag moments. [Insert obligatory Clint Eastwood joke here]. $69.99. ‘The PistolMouse FPS gaming mouse features high resolution optical tracking, ergonomic pistol grip styling, and optimized control placement…The controls on the PistolMouse FPS include a primary trigger, secondary grip trigger, and a selectable thumb scroll wheel…The high resolution 800 dpi optical sensor is offset to the front of the base of the PistolMouse FPS. By moving the sensor forward of the grip,…

The Lick O Meter. But why, dear Mama, why? ‘How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? Well this clever keychain contraption counts every one! Tootsie Pop or any other lolly fits inside the keychain counter and licks are tallied on the LCD read out. Comes complete with one Tootsie Pop and batteries are included.’

Screen Lock [Babel]. Someone reckons that what you really need in a busy office when you walk away from your PC is an automatic doobry which switches the screen off (rather than just locking the thing). So the inbuilt Windows password screensaver function is just too much trouble? $40.00 too much trouble?

Speedseat. The foldable, adjustable and upholstered driving game seat. �99.00. V. cool. ‘When designing the Speedseat we understood from our early prototypes that the space the unit takes up when stored was of paramount importance. Unlike bulky, expensive and cumbersome designs of our competitors, the Speedseat is incredibly easy to use and store.’

This week is phone week. Hence, the GI Phone. $69.95. ‘This WWII-styled phone features an Army-styled base and handset with a covered keypad with toggle switches and LED function indicators.’

The Evil Lyrics search tool. Free song lyrics program with a rather strange name. ‘Automatically searches for lyrics as your song is played in your player…searches over 7,200,000 lyrics…karaoke: create & share timestamps..stores lyrics for offline viewing…translates lyrics…’

Classic Cat. [Via 1 Milllion] ‘Classic Cat is a directory with links to over 1200 free to download classical performances on the internet, sorted by composer and work. To find the classical music you select a composer, a work and a performing musician. Then you are transported to the page of the musician(s) where the music is hosted and you can download it.’

The Peugeot Quark. Two seats, four wheel drive, removable PDA style instrument panel, four electric motors driving the wheels, fuel cell technology giving 130 km range. Just about the funkiest city runabout ever. Oh yes!

Wireless Shower TV. Addicted to television? Well get your soaps-on-a-rope with this wireless TV/DVD/Cable anywhere receiver. $399.95. ‘View broadcast or cable television – or DVDs and video tapes – on a high quality TFT color LCD with a 3.5-inch screen. And hear great sound through dual stereo speakers with aluminum-cone driver technology. Connect the small tuner/transmitter to your television or through a DVD or VCR.’

The Coolsoccer Mat. The Ferret is a soccer..er sucker.. for neat game controllers, and this one could be a match winner. Anything to save those poor overworked thumbs! Pricing is expected to be around �50.00 or so when it arrives later this year. ‘Using a tough touch sensitive mat, a photo sensitive cell & two RRF transmitters. Your gaming is taken to the next level of realty, your movements are transfer [sic] to the onscreen player, if you move to…

If you know someone who is thinking about buying a digital camera, do them a favour by pointing them towards this excellent little Guide to Digital Image Quality PDF booklet which explains some of the really important things – apart from mere megapixel counts – which make for a good vs bad camera. You know, like optics, software, firmware etc etc. It should be mandatory reading for the non-expert review journalist too.

Spy Sunglasses. Laugh at me if you must, but allow me the pleasure of looking rearwards whilst trying to avoid tiny dogs and other assorted bric a brac in my path. $39.98. ‘Special lenses work like a car’s rearview mirror. Look behind yourself in complete secrecy. Always be aware of your surroundings. Not a toy, these spy sunglasses provide 100% protection against UV rays. Includes hard-sided eyeglass case.’