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8 Bizarre Android Apps You Probably Shouldn’t Show Your Boss


One of the truly great things about smartphones is they can be used for literally everything. Yes really. You probably didn’t realize this but alongside the usual cluster of radios for GPS, wireless networking, GSM calls, FM radio et al, there are some hidden sensors which no-one talks about, and which confer extraordinary powers on your handset in amazing ways. Follow us inside as we explain all.


Entity Sensor Pro. Crazy doesn’t come much better than this delightful commercial app, which costs $5.99 and promises to help you find ghosts and record the results for the world to see. Both audio and paranormal data charts can be recorded, and there’s even an optional addon which lets you take flash photos of the nasty little beggars as they swoop around in your closets. What an awesome use of the magnetic compass sensor, eh?


G.E.G (Dowsing). This is actually our personal favorite. We’re talking $4 worth of absolutely gorgeous graphics and dials which will find those dangerous Geopathic Stress points faster than you can say ‘one Feng Shui Pizza, please.’ The dials flux, the graphs wobble, arrows point and hands wave and it just feels so right! Know what we mean? The demo video is also a classic of its genre.


Pendulum Oracle. This free app is made of altogether softer material, almost gossamer like in texture and weight. Use your phone’s accelerometer as a ‘virtual pendulum to tap into your subconscious‘. Oh Lordy. Mystical 8-ball fun for all the family, provided you live in a cave full of bats.


Breath BioFeedback. It’s lucky that most smartphones now contain a Coherence Ratio sensor, otherwise it would be difficult to make this one work as well as it does. Just tap on the screen each time you breath in and aim for a nice comforting green color. It’s free, and definitely deserves more love for those fluffy white clouds.


Cell Radiation Indicator. Make no mistake, this is the free app that should have the phone industry quaking in their boots. Unafraid of consequences it will tell you – via the use of a strategically placed skull and crossbones – when it’s not safe to hold your phone up to your ear because of the radiation risks. Never mind that you could probably tell this by the number of bars on your signal meter, this is really how it should be done, with pirates!


Stress Check. Who would have thought you could get so much valuable information out of a camera flash unit? You’ll need to stand still with your finger over the flash light of your handset for a good 2 minutes regularly to get this free app working properly, which could be stressful enough to ruin the results for most people. We’re waiting for the stress test app which measures acceleration as you throw the phone against the nearest wall, but we suspect testing costs may make it difficult to develop.


Personal BioRhythms Calculator. Oh biorhythms, how do we love thee? We remember buying watches, and little plastic sliderules which would help us calculate our precisely good, bad and dodgy days so we could maximize our lifestyle. It was around that time we started buying sea monkeys from the back of comics. Thanks to the wonders of modern phone technology, this free app delivers awesomely deep and profound daily predictions as well. Wonderful.


Horoscope and Tarot. Tap into the latent power of your phone’s necromantic sensor and delve into the future with this free app. You’ll get an abundance of free horoscopes, daily tarot readings and instant free advice on any topic you choose. We suggest your first request should be how to extend the life of your battery with all this time travel going on.

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