Qtrax. Rule 101 on how not to launch your world changing revolutionary legal Peer2Peer music service to the world. [UPDATE: Even more weird stuff seems to be happening…] Don’t promise what you can’t deliver on day one. Don’t think you’ve got it all sorted out just because you’ve been in gestation for four and a half years with beta traffic. Spend money on scalability testing. Try not to tell the Web that you’re going to change the world if you’re not…

DNA Ascension. Priced from $25.00 for 12 strands. Best of luck with it too. Oh, and there’s this bridge….  Originally, our 36 DNA strands were active and functioning. Approximately 5000 years ago, they were “deactivated,” greatly reducing many of our natural capabilities. Activating our 36 strands of DNA returns us to our original, natural state. It is a vital and necessary step in our spiritual growth and evolution. Tags: dna+ascension, mumbo+jumbo

Run Your Car on Water. $97.00 buys you two books choc full of amazing, valuable, incredible, exciting, revolutionary, unbelievable, fantastic, astounding, incredible (did we say incredible already?) information on how to build your own kit. “Wow, offers don’t come any better than this, really they don’t.” Signed Mrs Brooklyn Bridge, NY, Please dear reader, make special note of the Dual-Edge Map Sensor Enhancer, because we believe it to be at the heart of this incredible…[Enough…Ed]  Did you know that you…

Yuwie is a new social networking site that pays you for page views. Actually from the blurb it looks to be a cross between an MLM scheme and a circa 1999 flavour PHP script spamtastic hash up. But it’s gaining 32,000 members a month, so what do we know?  The best way to get more page views is to add more content to your profile. Leave comments for friends, upload more pictures, and maintain an active blog. All of this activity…

The Harmony Chip uses quantum mechanics to ‘bring a dramatic rising to the quality of every aspect of your life’. Yes folks, the ultimate ‘cure-all’ has arrived. Just one small pack will do so much you will be literally astounded out of your socks. In fact your socks will probably leave home shortly thereafter, having been so shocked that they will not be able to live with you any longer. Please note extra socks are not included in the price…

Jet lag is a nasty affliction which often strikes without warning, causing travellers to lose synch between their lips moving and the sound emerging from their mouths (hence the term lag) . We are pleased, therefore, to present The Red Ferret Journal guide to current Jet Lag treatments for sufferers everywhere.

The Bottom Reformulator Cushion promises to give you the type of toned bottom that you’ve always dreamed of. Just sit on one for 29 hours a day for 90 days and watch your bu-tocks re-sculpt themselves into a taut and terrifying spectre of flesh and bone. Honest! J-Lo, eat yer heart out love. $29.95.  Now you can more easily achieve the buttocks you envision, on top of your physical training by using the Bottom Reformulator. It’s been designed by a team of…

The price of failure? A shed full of discontinued stock. Soon destined, no doubt, for a carpet warehouse somewhere in Tashkent.

Hmm…so industry commentator Josh Umbehr over at the Medgadget weblog seems to have been the subject of a bit of PR harrasment for daring to suggest that a product we both featured – the Emwave – may not be quite as…ahem…robust as claimed. Dear me, it’s a bit much when PR folk start hassling folk at home to get their point across. Naughty, naughty Miss PR.  In retrospect, we think it was the “pseudoscience” label that really ruffled emWave’s feathers. When…