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30 Fun Uses For Your Old Apple Newton Tablet

Applenewtontablet

Now that Our Beloved Appletm is about to launch the ultimate tech saviour of humanity, we suddenly remembered that there’s one part of the population which might not be cheering so loudly. Those unlucky purchasers of Apple Newton MessagePad computers. So for all those distraught Newton users sobbing into their paisley man-bags we thought we’d help out with a short set of alternative uses for your precious and now sadly redundant hardware.

  1. Tech icon for slum landlords (‘sure, de apartment comes with its own Apple computer’)
  2. Window wedge for those hot Tennessee nights
  3. Boiled egg alarm
  4. Vintage product image for upload to stock photo services
  5. Business motivation poster image (‘if at first you don’t succeed…’)
  6. Fake Tricorder for your video remake of Star Trek I
  7. Still model for your painting class (‘…on ancient civilisations’)
  8. Spare dial up modem (‘for sending important faxes’)
  9. Post-it Note holder (stick ’em on the screen, blu-tack to the fridge)
  10. PCMCIA card storage
  11. Hamster toy ramp
  12. Doodle pad for long meetings
  13. Hand warmer
  14. Paintball target
  15. Emergency head rest
  16. Applenewtontablet2

  17. Paperweight
  18. Stylus tester
  19. Apple Pippin remote control
  20. Keyboard stand for Apple Lisa
  21. Roomba doorway blocker
  22. Eyesight tester
  23. Science project for your 10 year old
  24. Marketing project for your 19 year old
  25. Decoy device for myopic mugger
  26. Gift for your aging grandmother (‘hey Gran, it’s the Apple Tablet for ya’)
  27. Dummy car alarm
  28. Donation for a charity you don’t really trust a lot.
  29. Secret Santa gift
  30. Birthday present for Nasty Uncle Albert
  31. I Visited Cupertino And All I got Was This Lousy… souvenir

Failing that, keep it safe, you never know when it might come in handy for…well…calculating how long you need to save up to afford a proper tablet computer. Good luck.

2 Comments

  • At it doesn’t come with it’s own identity crisis like…

    Tandy Z-PDA (Zoomer)
    Casio Z-7000
    AST 7000
    GRiD Pad 7000

    Oh, wait.. there were all the same device!

  • Have you used a Newton before? The Newton is remains pretty useful. Most tablet computers still have a lot to learn in terms of UI design from the Newton. I use mine everyday and it continues to provide faithful service. Have a look at eBay and you'll see that Newtons have continued to hold their value over the last five years despite so much time passing by.

    The iPod Touch and the iPhone haven't made my Newton redundant. I don't anticipate that the iPad will either though this looks like it might be a serious candidate for a replacement laptop.

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