There’s nothing so fine as sitting next to someone on the bus or train who’s talking to themselves. You know that feeling right? The sinking bit in the pit of the stomach as you hunt around desperately but discretely for an alternative seat you can bolt to? And whatever you do, don’t make eye contact!

Well now you can get your own back with a VoiceZone Talking Memo Watch. The digital marvel will happily record up to 10 seconds of your imperial commands on demand – ‘make it so, underling…’ – and can back it up with a daily alarm if required. As if that wasn’t enough, the thing even announces the time loud and clear at the touch of a button, or automatically every hour on the hour.

Imagine the fun you can have with that on a crowded 8.30am public transport device. Available in a choice of fetching red or black, and priced at a very reasonable £19.95.