They’re pampered, worshipped, indulged, detested and everywhere. And that’s just the owners. When it comes to cats, there are definitely two camps, those who think the little kittehs should be on every page of the Internets…and those who don’t. We’re totally agnostic about the matter, since our Master told us not to comment about the matter, unless we wanted a bit of a scratching.

For those who happily inhabit the former camp, we present the Cat Scratch DJ, a delightfully silly scratching mat which has pretensions to being something else completely. If you’ve noticed your owner feline wearing a tad more gold round the neck than usual or visiting a large Mercedes SUV parked outside for no reason, you may want to buy them one of these, just in case.

It’s cardboard, the deck really does spin and it costs $34.99. Chances are if you buy your cat this, they’ll take one sniff and never go near it again. But that’s life, right?