Look, I like fresh air as much as the next dork. But not enough to wander around with this doozy on my chest. How lame is that? ‘Hey, Mr Paranoid, me. Your stinkin’ air ain’t good enough for my lungs, sucka!’ Of course your ozone may vary.

The Ionic (Ironic?) Breeze Personal Air Purifier. �39.95.

‘Personal air purifier and humidifier silently directs cleaner, fresher air toward your mouth and nose.
Creates a “personal comfort zone” in any environment.
Humidify ultra-dry air by adding water to built-in Porex wicks.’