We all know about bugs and how dangerous they are, don’t we? And if the thought of millions of hostile micro-vermin squirming around on a cell phone next to your silky soft cheeks doesn’t freak you out, then you’re indeed lucky.

So we thought it would be interesting to take a look at a product which apparently kills 99.99% of all germs on your phone, through the use of UV light. The UV Cell Phone Sanitizer is a simple device – just add three AA batteries, open the lid, pop your phone in and close the lid again. The lid automatically switches on the UV light and four minutes later, your phone has been blasted clean of all nasties.

Actually we understand that it’s not so much a blasting and more a disruption which leads to a feeling of lethargy and general boredom on the part of the bugs. In fact they get so bored they start to pack their bags and leave for sunnier climates and more genial poolside banter, by which time your phone is cleaner than a cake plate at a boy scouts party.

There are a couple of things which should be noted about this process. First, your phone needs to be small enough to fit into a) the little basket they supply or b) the unit itself without basket. Any of the larger model smartphones like the new crop of 4.7 and 5 inch handsets will not fit, but you’re fine if you have an older Blackberry, iPhone or similar. Second, the unit can also be used to sterilize other personal belongings such as earbuds, cables, and any other things you may use on or around your body. As long as they can fit into the basket, you’re good to go.

The user manual offers…ahem…the kind of English translation which causes much hilarity, but since the product is so brain meltingly easy to use, that’s not likely to be a problem. So does the thing work as advertised?

Well to be brutally frank, we have absolutely no chuffin’ idea. We did try and set up a proper lab experiment to test a handset before and after UV zapping, but the research labs we found either wanted to charge us the equivalent of a small car to do the test, or offered such complicated options that we couldn’t understand what they were talking about.

So in the end we resorted to the tried and tested method of peering closely at a zapped phone to see if we could see any germs wriggling about. We’re pleased to report that this rigorously scientific scrutiny left us in no doubt whatsoever that the machine does indeed zap all alien life on board your cell phone. We could see no germs or bugs, just a small layer of what appeared to be discarded sun tan lotion packets and boarding pass stubs to Bermuda and the Seychelles. Job done, we say.

We do recommend that you don’t take our word for it, and before you make the crucial decision to pay the $10.06 /£6.56 that this product costs, you check up on more authoritative and sincere review sources. It’s possible that we may have missed something important in our testing methodology.

For now though, all we’ve got to say is the product emits a reassuringly comforting blue glow for several minutes, which as far as we’re concerned is definitely good enough to dispel our doubts.