Well it had to come. We’ve been dumbing down the language since the times of Chaucer, and in fact recent speech modes now resemble that of primitive man. U rly gd 2 cm wiv us? But enough chit-chat. We’re here to bring you the latest greatest chat messenger evar.

Bark. That’s it. Download it from the Android Play app store or from iTunes for iPhone. Then when you want to say something, just press the dog you choose and it will bark your message. One press, one bark. That’s it. The recipient has to have the app on their phone and be within 1 mile of your location.

There’s no identities involved, no location, actually there’s no message. It’s just a bark, hoping to meet another bark out there in the ether. Depending on your religion this is either the dumbest thing ever created in the history of everything, or pure naked genius.

According to the stats there have been over 1 million barks made since the free app launched. Nope, sorry can’t continue. Gotta go lie down again. Things are getting dark and bleary.