Climate change or no, things are getting pretty cold in places. Like very cold. So in the spirit of neighborly support and cooperation we thought we’d bring you the Brando Top 10 selection of USB warmer gadgets to help keep the frost at bay, wherever you are.
1. USB Heating Blanket II – $20
We’re not sure what’s stranger, the fact that there’s a version II of this product, or the fact that it comes in purple. Anyhoo, here it is in all its glory. Plug it in to the nearest USB socket and stick it on your legs or over your shoulders for a 51 degree toast up. Complete with critter motif.
2. USB Ladybug Heating Slipper – $26
There’s nothing worse than an icy wind whistling around your tootsies when you’re trying to get something done. OK, there are plenty of worse things, but let’s forget about those for a moment. Forget about forcing your cat to stay motionless under your desk as a foot warmer for hours at a time, just invest in one of these and you’ll be good to go up to 45 degrees. Just plug it into the nearest USB socket, you’ve got the idea by now, right?
3. USB Fish Warmer Mouse Pad – $13
Hands are very vulnerable things, they stick out there all lonely and external and who cares? You do, that’s who. Especially when the pinkies get chilly. But now you can fight back with this hand hotel on steroids. Put your mousing hand inside this covered pad while you’re working and you’ll think you’re on a tropical island, minus the coconuts, beach towels and Swedish tourists. The device will take your hands up to a very nice 40 degrees. Take that Jack Frost!
Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that you’re not really into all that fluffy stuff, and just want some plain old heat to the body stuff. Well we’ve got you covered here too. This mousey type heating thing not only sports an 800 dpi resolution for all your mousing, but will also keep your hands at a very nice 50 degrees as you swipe, cut and paste. We’re reassured that the heating element is safety protected so the mouse doesn’t fry in your hand. Good job!
5. USB Dog Heating Cushion – $38
It can be hard to get real livestock to do your bidding in cold temperatures, no matter how well trained they are. Especially when the requirement is to heat up and sit on your body for extended lengths of time. Which is why this dog cushion works so well. It’s not just a cute little cushion, it also expands out to a full flat pooch, which loves to heat up to around 39 degrees. Just right for those dodgy iced up tummies.
6. USB Heating Gloves II – $22
The more conventional among us will run a mile from any loud colored, super garish garments. We need shy stuff, which is harder to spot in the darkness of a corner cubicle. Which is where these dinky little gloves come in. They come in his ‘n hers, feature two heat settings of up to 50 degrees toasty-ness, and are actually made of wool, which is totally sheep-tastic. We like the convertible finger tip thingies too, very versatile.
7. USB Hand Warmer & Charger – $36
Just in case you get the ridiculous urge to actually go outside – what are you, nuts? – you may find one of these things useful. It’s not just a very useful little hand warmer, but it will also recharge your phone if needed. Say for emergency calls to get someone to rescue you from outside your front door porch when you find out just how cold it is out there. It will keep your hands warm up to 40 degrees for up to 4 hours, and hey it even has a cute LED flashlight in it.
It’s not only the externals that need looking after in extreme cold, there’s also the little bits inside the body which really enjoy a bit of pampering. Who can resist a hot cup of something when the view out of the window is so bleak? Problem is, unless you drink quickly, you’re in danger of ingesting cool liquid, which is not good. So invest in one of these babies and you’re golden. The cute little cup will keep your drink at a steady 40 degrees as long as the USB port holds up, so relax.
9. USB Heating Slippers V – $25
We’re clearly supposed to be impressed by the fact that these are version 5 of the venerable heated slippers, but we’re failing to see where the improvements are. Hey-ho, at least they look fairly decent, and tucked under your desk no-one will guess that you’re rocking a lovely toasty 45 degrees, thanks to the power of your laptop. You get two heat settings and they’re available in black or blue.
10. USB Hand Warmer & Massager – $12
Being warm is not the only luxury in life, is it? There’s also the small matter of not being in pain, which so many of us are as we sit at our desks, suffering silently. But no more. For this little gadget will not only 40 degrees of hand warming loveliness, but with the flick of a switch you can also use it as a vibrating massager to soothe away the aches of being stuck in that stupid cubicle when you could be enjoying a snowball fight. Choice of three colors.
So there you have it, the Top 10 USB Warmer Gadgets for your enjoyment. We hope you are safe and snug wherever you are today, and not having to put up with too much snow and/or too little heat. Roll on summer is all we’ve got to say.
