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Lapgard. Men, protect your testicular function and scrotal temperatures with this portable notebook computer heat shield. Also contains a multicore radiation barrier to screen out electro-magnetic waves and radiation from reaching your…ahem…precious little places. Too many jokes, not enough time. £24.99.

 Research has shown that sperm counts have dropped by almost a third in a decade, prompting renewed concerns about male fertility. A study of 7,500 men attending the Aberdeen Fertility Centre between 1989 and 2002 showed that average sperm concentrations fell by nearly 30%. Research has stated that laptops can reach internal operating temperatures of over 70 degrees centigrade. Researchers said that it was possible that frequent use of laptops over years may cause irreversible changes in male reproductive function.

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