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Professional Power Massager – give some relief to those achey bakey muscles


You know you’re in need of help, when it takes someone wielding the relaxation equivalent of a jackhammer to get you relaxed. Forget about those teeny tiny massage balls, what you really need is one of these puppies.

The Professional Power Massager looks like it’ll knead its way through the earth’s crust, and the fact that it delivers 3300 rpm of relaxing pulsations suggests it actually could. We’re not sure exactly how hard you’re supposed to press this beast against the flesh, but we’d recommend gently to start with.


One cool feature is the fact that it comes with a remote control, and also you can use it to pulverize soothe your feet as well as back, shoulders and other knobby bits. You need power from a socket to make it work, as well as $159.99 in green stuff.

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