So exactly how do you tell the world that you’re completely immune to all this smartphone status rubbish, and demonstrate just how little you rate your expensive communication tool? Well you definitely don’t buy a Swarovski encrusted leather case, that’s for certain. Nope, you swing completely the other way.

What you do is buy a Silicone Strap For Smartphones, which gives you the joyful pleasure of dangling your ultra high tech computer from your bag like a sack of onions. Because that’s how we roll folks.

As if that’s not enough, the thing also doubles up as a hand strap, so you can ostentatiously whip out your gold iPhone in the 5 star restaurant, slip it into your hand with the red rubber on full show, and openly demonstrate your disdain for the $800 you’ve coughed up for the privilege of owning such an awesome device.

It comes in a range of colors, fits just about any phone on the market, and may or may not give you instant street cred in the right kind of crowd. Priced at $4.95.