Electronic Foot Massage Slippers. Call me sentimental, but I have this vision of a future where, arriving after a hard day’s work, we are met by our faithful Aibo Mark IX robo-pups carrying elegant and yet practical electronic massage slippers. And lo, part of that dream has all but come to pass. Wonders! $25.99. ‘This 2 in 1 foot massager with superman hands is the perfect solution to release your fatigue after a long day. Perfect for travelling or daily…

The new Vivitar DVR 390H is being billed as the world’s first 6 in 1 multimedia player. Video/Still camera, personal video, television and voice recorder, and MP3 player. Golly. $700.00. ‘The DVR 390H features 20 Gigabytes of storage and is SD card compatible, enabling it to hold 15 hours of VGA movies or recorded video from any video source such as TV, VCR and DVD. Compatible with PC and MAC, the unit slots into a cradle which can be attached…

The Spraymaster Aerosol Widget. Another in a series of simple solutions for simple minds, brought to you by Ferret Enterprises. Eye thang yew. �2.49 each. ‘Keeps your fingers Dry, Clean and prevents painful thumb ache when spraying….. Fits all standard aerosols and gives a much more positive spray control. Made from Glass Reinforced Nylon for low weight and added strength…will last for years.’

The Windows Memory Diagnostic ‘…tests the Random Access Memory (RAM) on your computer for errors. The diagnostic includes a comprehensive set of memory tests. If you are experiencing problems while running Windows, you can use the diagnostic to determine whether the problems are caused by failing hardware, such as RAM or the memory system of your motherboard.’

The new Shoulder Dolly Light Duty looks to be a perfect blend of form and function. Especially like, if it gets the ladies shunting stuff around while we menfolk sit back and eat pizza! How many times, gentlemen, have you had to move a large TV back and forth, back and forth, back and blooming forth, while the lady of the house ummed and arred over position, shading and the match with the light switch fitting? Right? Heh, just kidding…

Decision Maker for Mac. I, for one, welcome our new computer controlling overlords. ‘Decision Maker helps you with making hard decisions, you simply do not have the time to be bothered with. It just lets you sit back and say, “Ya know what, I don’t care!” and watch as the computer will decide what you need to do. Don’t be boggled down on thinking about things. Its [sic] time you just let it go.’

Whoa, broadcast this far and loud. The venerable Name This Tune music search site (aka MelodyHound) has converted to Wiki format. The new Open Music Encyclopedia currently contains 29,000 tunes. It needs more. ‘Musipedia uses the “Melodyhound” melody search engine. You can find and identify a tune even if the melody is all you know. You can whistle or sing it to the computer or directly use the Parsons code. To “name that tune”, you don’t need to know the…

Dog-e-Tag. ‘The world’s first digital dog tag.’ $39.95. Frankly I reckon they should make ’em for humans too. ‘With up to 40 lines of information, one can store large quantities of data, such as cell phone numbers, pager numbers, e-mail addresses, county license numbers, rabies vaccine numbers, veterinary and neighbor contacts, etc. Beyond simple data, Dog-e-Tag can also contain messages such as: “I like my tummy rubbed” “I can’t hear, I’m deaf” “I am 9 years old and I can’t…

Of course, no truly blingular personage is anyone without a Flashing Gear Knob for that special motor. �24.99. Or indeed, the right kind of hat?

The Discovery Professional Flower Cutting System. $4.99. Sometimes gadgets can be soft too, you know. ‘Keep your flowers fresher, brighter and healthier. This unique flower cutting system lets you cut flowers underwater and quickly removes leaves and thorns. It also gives you a choice of two cutting angles � 45 or 90 degrees. The result is longer lasting, better blooming flowers and bouquets.’

The Spy Listener Robot. Because it’s fun to be nerdy, especially when you can be sneaky too. �69.95. ‘Hear whats going on in the next room with the super snooper robot Capable of entering a room undected [sic], the spy listener will listen to conversations and then transmit them up to 100’/30m away Brilliant fun at the office and endless entertainment at home.’

Just moved into a new neighbourhood? Hey, make friends and get invited round to all your local BBQs by buying a Bushnell Speedster Radar Speed Gun. $157.90 (complete with a fully comprehensive medical plan too?) ‘Do you want to play a cop busting speeding cars on your street with your radar gun? Or you actually like to go fast in your car and want your friends to check your car�s exit speed from a difficult slalom on an autocross course…

Backtrack Recorded Delivery. Free email security blanket. ‘Lets you record emails you send to friends, colleagues, customers. Whatever. When they READ the mail, we deliver YOU a receipt. They don’t see the mail until the receipt is on its way to you.’

Mmmm, remember that Electrocharger thingumy I mentioned recently? Well I’ve just learned that apparently it is ‘being engaged in a new vehicle program for BMW.’ Very interesting.

The Di Pietro Rotary Air Engine. Zero pollution, very low friction, 100% more efficient than competitors. Very nice, very nice indeed! ‘It has low number of moving parts It is compact and light It has virtually no friction It has virtually no vibration It uses its own momentum to its advantage It cushions its own parts on a film of air Only 1 PSI of pressure is needed to overcame the friction’