The Radio Controlled Cuckoo Clock. Somewhere in Germany a horrorstruck Franz Ketterer is slowly spinning in his grave.

‘There’s nothing like the charm of a cuckoo clock, merrily announcing the hours throughout the day, and we’re proud to offer the world’s very first cuckoo clock that’s radio controlled! This attractive brushed-metal finish clock reveals a cheerful surprise every hour on the hour, when the doors open and the brightly-colored timekeeper steps up to his microphone to announce the current time—or to play a happy melody!’

Steps up to his microphone? Aaarrgh!