Upset about the Mandybill, righteous citizen, subject of Her Majesty the Queen? Feel betrayed by the rushed Digital Economy Bill, undebatedly voted for in what seasoned gamers would call a zerg attack? Now it’s yours to fight back and take the most saccharinous revenge at hand: buy into a fashion statement. Fight commerce by commerce. Be proud to eat cake.

So what about wearing a good ol’ times pirate ship? ($18) Showing the threat of a copy-happy cassette tape monster? ($18 either) Shopping on a foursome-cassette-adorned bag? ($12) Or turning your MacBook into a Piratebook by crossing white vinyl decal bones right below that apple? ($5) Yes, democracy, civil rights and free speech start here. Whereever you may hail from. Just make sure you’re steering clear of those merchant vessels flying the flag of the common locust.

Pirates have been around as long as people have used the oceans as trade routes. In the popular modern imagination, pirates of the classical period were rebellious, clever teams who operated outside the restricting bureaucracy of modern life.