These Robo Vacuum things are never going to replace your beloved Roomba, but they’re probably better suited for those tiny desktop messes, eh? Available in twinky colours and with some totally useless appendages, it’ll probably get used once and dumped in a drawer alongside your Buzz Lightyear pencil sharpener. $14.99.  Picking up life’s little messes! The desktop robot that never gets tired of cleaning up your sloppy mess. Simply push the top button to activate suction and slide over dry…

The new Raycop Anti-Bacterial Hand Vacuum looks like a prop from Alien VIII and comes with a shed load of technology on-board. We’re talking a 254nm UV sterilising lamp, a vibrating pad to shake those mites loose before you zap them and a micro-filtered high power vacuum to suck them up. You can tell it’s a high class high tech piece of equipment by the fact that there’s a four stage start up process. Feel the force, Duke. £149.99.  The UV-C sterilising lamp kills 99.9%…

Eye-Vac Pro Electric Dustpan. OK, so here the idea is that you just focus on the sweeping, and the Pro will suck up your dirt when it gets close enough. No bending, straining or other stress on your poor body. Sound nice? Yeah well good. The thing turns on when debris comes within range of its sensors, comes with HEPA filters and also lets you know when it’s full. At which time, presumably, you have to bend down to empty…

The Aculife Magnetic Wave Therapist is an acupoint finder and stimulator all rolled into one handy, pocket sized gizmo. So much easier than carrying around a Chinese herbalist, don’t you think? And cheaper of course. $299.95.  Use the Aculife daily to help locate qi pathways that need stimulation. Then, simply flip a switch and stimulate the qi in your body’s systems where you need it most. The Aculife Deluxe has several settings and features that will allow you to quickly…

The Vincent Audio Vacuum Tube Headphone Amplifier is a hybrid headphone amp, combining the ‘power and control’ of solid state electronics with the ‘warmth’ of  the twin vacuum tubes. Do we believe this? Dare we argue? Do we have to invest in a new brushed Titanium alloy and gold tipped headset, or can we stick with our tatty old Sony Walkman earpads? These questions and more will cost you $799.95 to answer.  The precise, stabilized proprietary power supply delivers the purest sound…

The Vacunaut Exercise System. Worried about the liposuction risks? Then cop out with this little doozy of a fat loss system. Just plug yourself into the ‘specially adapted diving suit’, and you’ll be on your way. Where to we’re not quite sure, but no doubt wherever it is, it’ll be expensive.  Vacunaut treatment involves exercising on a treadmill whilst wearing a specially adapted diving suit which places your abdomen in a computer controlled vacuum. The exercise is moderate so as…

The Extended Reach Insect Vacuum. Let’s say that you really really don’t like creepy crawlies. Well this is the tool you need. This, a pair of very dark sunglasses, a fire-proof anti-bacteriological smock and a set of very thick oven gloves made of Kevlar. Then gently approach the fly and…. try not to think of the $49.95 price tag.  This lightweight insect vacuum quickly captures insects from up to 54″ away. Flies, bees, spiders, and other insects are suctioned by the…

The Ray Gun Bug Catcher. At last, a bug vacuum that says ‘I mean business, you nasty creeping crawling shudderful piece of work, so take *that*’. And hey, it’s even got a magnifier so you can take a long hard look at your trapped adversary in glorious close up. Most arachnophobically excellent. $24.95.  It looks like a ray gun but Bug Vacuum is actually a thoughtfully designed ecological device that, without harm, sucks up unwanted spiders and other stray bugs…