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Stationary Epicycle is one overpriced workout machine

Exercise bikes do their normal job of helping you lose weight, but they look a bit silly. What we all really need is an expensive workout machine that will give you the exactly same results as if you bought the cheaper version. You should look good while you’re working to look good, and only the Epicycle is going to help you do that.

This overly priced workout bicycle was made with inspiration from the 19th century mono wheels, although there’s no way you’re going to be riding this thing out and about. It has dual-satellite transmission that transforms one pedal revolution into four flywheel rotations. This means if you are spinning 100rpms, the flywheel will be spinning at 400rpms. The cycle has a copper ring that is 36 in diameter, with six magnets around it that make a magnetic field which can be controlled through a touchscreen display. Through this magnetic field you can have 12 different levels of resistance. It will cost you $12,000, but that’s only because of it’s fancy design, carbon fiber handles, and padded Alacantra saddle. It will support any rider up to 285 pounds, and only needs to be plugged in once a month so that the batteries for the touchscreen can recharge.

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