I’m sitting here biting my lower lip to keep it bottled up, but it’s hard. Really really hard. ‘Cos all I can think of at this moment is a busy office floor full of people wearing….no wait…hold it…OK, OK I’m fine now…wearing their patented $29.95 Sumacke Anti-Glare Eyewear. Nope, I’m sorry that’s it, I can’t go on. I’m just gonna grab a quiet lie down in a darkened closet for a moment and then I’ll be right….snarfllfsszzll….back.

‘THE SUMACKE (TM) has a Fashionable Futuristic Ergonomic design with cool colors and a black opaque interior…Limits your field of vision to the Computer screen area. Allows you to control your Visual Environment…eliminates Direct and Indirect Glare from the environment like windows, desk lamps, ceiling lights, shiny desktop surfaces… and significantly reduces Reflected Glare from the lenses of eyeglasses. It protects your eyes from drafts of the Dry office Air.’