Everyone can turn off their computers now. Go outside and meet new people. The internet is over. The machine that killed it is the Bistro, a food dish for your cat that includes cat facial recognition technology. Yes, biometric security systems are now a thing for your pet. Next week, paw print access to their online bank accounts.

Cat. Facial. Recognition. Most people can’t tell two identically colored cats apart. Two black cats? Same cat. But this food dish can. Of course the question should be asked, why would you need such a thing? Well actually it serves a purpose outside of the fantasies of cat ladies everywhere. The idea is that it will recognize the cat that’s eating and keep it from overeating as well as keep an eye on it to make sure it’s not under-eating. And probably stop that naughty stray from sneeking in the cat flap to steal your moggy’s prize chow when it’s sleeping.

Not only that but the food dish will weigh the food left as well as water, to track how much the cat has eaten. So if Fluffy only eats half his normal meal or skips the drinks altogether, it can alert you to something being up. The data is sent to an app which you can program with your individual cat’s information. We’re not sure if any pet privacy regulations are being broken, but no doubt someone from PETA will be along in just a moment.  Woo-eee! The Bistro is on preorder and will come out in the spring of 2015. It costs $199.