The Fossil Dish Digital. OK, so here we have a digital watch, with analogue type hands and a digital second counter. Is this cool or is it naff? I’m losing touch here a bit. But hey, it is a Philippe Starck design, so what do I know? $95.00.  This style is based on reinterpreting the analog in a digital format. The minimalist LCD hands and seconds float in a flattened Lucite sphere. The second’s numerals tick around the perimeter and correspond to the location…

 Acoustic Magic – purveyors of Voice Tracker microphones – and One Voice Technologies have announced a product which combines Media Center Communicator voice recognition software with the mic to let you voice control your Media Center PC from anywhere in the room. The idea is that the mic tracks your position in the room and locks on to you as you speak your commands – ‘OneVoice record Channel 10 at 6 pm’. No more standing in front of the TV feverishly pointing…

The Bonfort 1GB Pave USB drive. But dahlink, of course it’s Swiss, and yes it is most definitely limited edition only. Don’t you just looove the 18 ct. yellow gold and ca. 630 brilliant cut natural diamonds? You don’t? Sweetums, I’m hurt. And please don’t ruin our beautiful friendship by asking that awful question…  Perfectly finished with precious meterials and containing the latest USB storage technology, this memory stick can, thanks to a patented technology, be detached from the main…

TalkMaster II. An MP3 TiVo for radio. Time shift FM/AM and line in timed recording (does that mean Internet recording?). Comes with an SD slot, up to 256kbps quality, and an id3 tag feature for the files. Clever stuff. And also language learning. Priced at around $338.00.

The SKeeper Personal Communicator and Alarm. With built in speakerphone, and future plans for GPS.  SKeeper has taken PERS (Personal Emergency Response System) and social alarm systems, to the next level. Fitted with a “Safety Call” button and built-in cellular communicator, it can activate a warning signal when needed, enabling wearers to be immediately contacted from any caller or via a secure Web interface, PDA, smart-phone or through a remote monitoring center.

The Bust Doctor. Apparently it is some sort of shaping aid. Don’t ask us, we’re nerds.  How to use. Firstly, spray special healthful liguid on bust. After put on bust doctor, plug in and trun on switch button. You can adjust vibration power by button. 15 minutes per day is efficient to make good shaping bust.

The Hotronic FootWarmer Power Plus. Hot feet, hot price – $165.00. But there again we are talking 14 hour, rechargeable, adjustable temperature setting luxury here. None of yer ‘bang a couple of hot tea bags in and hope for the best’, type solutions. Ah well, progress.  The Hotronic Power Plus FootWarmers are designed to keep your feet toasty warm all day. They easily install in all types of footwear for skiing, snowboarding, bicycling, horseback riding, fishing, hunting, snowmobiling, and other…

Simply Scarlet USB Flash Drive. There’s something rather cute about carrying around a bright red 128 MB flash drive that looks like a lipstick, doncha think? It says so much more about you than your LED tiara watch ever will. £12.98.  The ‘Simply Scarlet’ USB Flash Drive, identical to our extremely popular “In the Pink”, has a capacity of 128Mb, which you can use to store music, images and important files like your CV. It also makes transferring files from…

The Slime Tire Repair Kit. The most compact flat tire repair and inflation system in the world. It says here. Sealant and air compressor in a ‘handsome carrying case’. Gosh, sounds marvellous. Great company name too, eh?  # Sealant seals punctures up to 1/4″ in tread area # Non-toxic, safe for tires and wheels # Fully inflates tires fast from any 12-volt power source # Maintain tire pressure; save tread, increase mileage # Modular kit stores easily; water/shock- resistant case…

The Alba PRDA200MP3 Pocket DAB/FM/MP3 player. OK, so it’s clear that the DAB digital radio people are starting to get desperate. Why else start cramming just about every other audio experience bar karaoke onto their devices? Why indeed, unless DAB isn’t selling particularly well? But we couldn’t possibly comment on that, could we Maureen? £109.99.  Switching from radio to MP3 listening is at a touch of a button conveniently doing away with carrying around a separate MP3 player and DAB radio….

Inforemer Golf Management System. Apparently golf courses are now such complex places that they need GPS and Wi-Fi management systems. You know, to stop traffic jams, soothe irate buggy drivers and keep a watch on errant movements of chronically bad players. You can even send messages to the poor flailing saps to tell them a thunderstorm is on its way. Just in case they can’t, like, look up and see the clouds coming.  Inforemer GPS Distance Player Management gives you more ability to…

USB 4 Port Hub Extender. There are occasions, dear reader, when a piddly 3 foot cable will not do it for connecting your peripherals to yer PC. Such as when you’re…cough…working in the garden on your telecommute days. For those important moments you need this puppy, which uses standard Ethernet cable to cleverly extend the USB connection range of up to four peripherals and their sister. Wireless, waddya mean? $54.99.  This 4-port hub uses a plain Ethernet patch cable–up to 150…

The Pillow Talk Speaker. He wants Beethoven, you want the half-time scores? You like late night talk shows, she needs a death metal lullaby? Look no further, poor suffering children. $17.42/£10.00.  *Listen to you favourite station without disturbing your partner. *Ideal for the late football game or cricket match. *Fall asleep to your favourite radio station or CD. *Long lead for comfortable use. *Suitable for use with any radio, radio cassette, clock radio, CD player or any other equipment fitted with a…

The Voice Vault voice activated safe. Nobody gets their hands on your valuables unless they speak the code word with your voice. Or they carry an unsportingly large and brutal hammer. £17.99.  If you want to secure your stuff then enter your codeword into the Voice Vault! Protect your prized possessions with this toy vault that can only be unlocked by YOUR VOICE giving YOUR CODEWORD. Nobody gets into the voice vault – it’s totally OFF LIMITS!!! Record a codeword into your Voice Vault. It…