The TeleSpy Motion Activated Intrusion System. Phone sits on table. Minding own business. If it detects intruder via sensor, it calls you at a pre-arranged number and you can listen in to the room for 30 seconds via an amplified microphone. If it’s your cat, go back to your bingo, if it’s nasty person call police. Happy. $79.95.  The TeleSpy allows you to decide from a safe location, “children or family members”. Friendly intrusions include allowable visits from family or…

The CX 200 Portable Director II Cell Phone Jammer [updated] Palm Mini Jammer . Take a good look, because you may see a lot more of these little babies arriving here in the West once laws get changed, and people reach the end of tethers with loud mouths. The strange translation from Japanese says something like – ‘secretly switch on – so it’s clearly covert. Uh-huh. Anyhoo, two modes, one gives 70 seconds jamming (i.e. peace) around you, the other fades…

The Escargot Kitchen Timer. This is rather weird. A kitchen timer that moves across the surface as it’s timing your frog’s leg soup. Ewwww….does it leave a trail? Ewwwww…..[Via Sehin-World]  OLIO ESCARGOT Crawling Kitchen Timer is a cute-looking, brightly-colored mechanical timer that crawls like a real snail as it counts your cooking time. A real-life example of how Ikonee design team merges innovative idea, aesthetics and experience into an amazingly elegant yet simple, functional household product.

The Inflatable Massage Chair. There’s probably a gazillion or so individuals who would love to sink into a La-Z-Boy chair of an evening after a hard day’s toil, but can’t afford price or space to house same. So don’t. Get one of these cheapo inflatable massage models instead, and pray that your cat miraculously and fortuitously loses its claws. £79.95/$143.91.  The Inflatable Massage Chair features an auto-massage function, but also comes with a remote handset for easy control of its three intensity…

The Ventriloquist Alarm Clock. Record your mother-in-law shouting obscenities at you, it may not be pretty but it might rouse you in time for your day’s labour. Or maybe you’re more Zen than hen? $95.00.   A breath of fresh air in our techno world, the ventriloquist alarm clock allows you to record your own message or sound to wake up to. Whether it’s a self-motivation motto “Get-up, get-up, get-up…”, a special message from someone you love or any sound…

The Gypsy MIDI Controller. Know the moves those rappers make with their arms on MTV promos? Well we’ve just found out why they do ‘em. Yep, it’s practice to play this bizarre piece of equipment, which is a kind of exo-skeleton meets sound desk meets motion capture kinda thing. Kinda. £940.00 complete. More from Gizmag.  The Gypsy Mocap-midi controller suit [MX12] is modeled on the human skeletal form, using rotational sensors placed on the body joints. The suit simply plugs…

The Remote Controlled Spy Cam Jet Plane. OK Alec, you’re so clever, tell me this. What kind of photos do you end up with from a jet powered R/C plane travelling at height? Blurred? Pixelated? Smeared or streaked? The fact that it looks like an AWACS probably makes the whole idea worse. Anyway that’s all we’re going to say on the matter, so just hand over the $199.95 and go play. Over there. Somewhere.  Fly this radio control plane into the air…

The Sahara Dry Ear. Well…believe this or not, it’s a drying device for…ahem…wet ears. Surprised? We were. Apparently towels or little bits of crinkly tissue paper twisted into a saggy strip and inserted willy nilly may not be enough for some lugholes. These special ears need a microchip controlled, rechargeable device which is blue. All we can say is that it sounds a bit weird. Sounds. Geddit? $99.99.  The airflow from this sophisticated device runs for about a minute at a comfortable temperature…

The Portable 8” Freeview LCD Digital TV. OK, so it’s only got an 8 inch screen, but it can store up to 1000 digital terrestrial and analogue channels in there, has EPG window capability, connects to a camcorder or security cam if you wish, doubles up as a computer monitor and comes with a 12V car cigarette adapter in the box. £199.99 to the lady over there in red.

The Laguna Plant Watering System. Seven liter tank and adjustable taps means you can water up to 14 plants for 2 full weeks. Get a snazzy pet feeder and a wireless baby monitor and you’re totally set for that long deserved break in Vegas. $59.99.

The D-Box Quest Motion Simulator Chair. Hmm…so they’ve upgraded the motion sim armchair biz by integrating the engine inside the arms, eh? Well it’s one way to get your kicks while watching Independence Day s’pose.  

The Panasonic KX-HCM110A is a mighty Kong of a network camera. Web controlled pan and tilt, 125 frame buffer, max 30 fps (12fps at VGA resolution) cellphone compatible, built in motion detection, image transfer via email or FTP and – big breath – two way audio via the inbuilt mic and speaker output socket. This is a webcam on steroids all right. At a muscle beach price of $349.95.

The National BF-104F Flashlight is a torch with a difference. It can use any of three different battery sizes. If my eyes aren’t playing up, those are C, D and AA, aren’t they? Bit clunky though, ain’t it? Around $8.00.

The USB Mini Tower is a veritable treasure chest of fun, children. Not only will it ionize your air for you, but also cool it down via a water cooled blower system. And…wait for it…there’s a dinky little sidelight to brighten up your dull, drab life. There, feeling better? £14.95.  This powerful little gadget can make your office or workspace a joy to be in again by giving you fresh air for as long as you need it by simply…