The Samsung P300 Pocket Projector. Two hour battery option, SVGA, weight 660g, dimensions 127 x 93 x 50mm, £500.00 retail  and ideal for laptops (it says here). But only 24 lumens, so don’t expect bright. And what we’d really like to know is, will this product compete directly with the upcoming Samsung P300 Mobile Phone? And if so, is that good marketing, peeps?

The Geek LED Flashing Sweetheart Kit. Look sorry about this, but we simply couldn’t let it pass, it being Easter and all. So what does a geek supposedly give to their dearest and nearest that really says it all? Why a flashing LED kit – kit note, none of yer ready-in-a-box solutions here – in the shape of a heart. Awww…..and if that doesn’t get ‘em up the aisle, well then they’ve definitely got diodes for arteries. Marge, we’ll just take…

The HearPhone. A Bluetooth audio enhancer with noise reduction, a 17 band graphic equaliser and directional microphone which also doubles up as a mobile phone or MP3 player hands free headset. Funky tech. Around $800.00.  Would you like to hear a little less bass? A little more treble? Would you like to cut out a lot of the background noise and not have to strain to understand what people are saying? With HearPhone software, the pitch and loudness can be customized to…

The TrekPod. It’s a walking staff, monopod, and digital camera tripod. Now all we need in there is an emergency flare, an LED flashlight and a firelighter and we’re done, right? $139.99. [Via Transporttrends]   TrekPod provides a unique multi-function solution that is portable, stable and quickly interchangeable. TheTrekPod light-weight hiking staff converts from hiking mode to tripod in seconds, and attaches your camera or observation optics via the fully integrated quick-release MagMount system just as quickly. TrekPod with MagMount allows…

The Dinendi Mirror TV Kit. Turn your tatty old plasma or LCD flat screen television into a spanking new state-of-the-art-beat-the-Joneses mirror TV with the Dinendi frame kit. We’re talking portrait or landscape versions and prices from around $450.00 for a 42 inch frame on its own, to $2000.00 for a 24 x 36 inch frame with a built in 20” screen. Vanity fair!

The Asus WL-530G 802.11g 54Mbps Wireless Router. Just thought it looked quite cute. Is all. Sorry to have troubled you. We’ll move along now.  I could add in a load of wireless networking letters and acronyms, but you don’t want that stuff really, do you? Do you?

Germanium Vigour Watches. It is absolutely a well known – actually incredibly well known – fact, oh yes, that Germanium – that well known substance – emits negative electrons at 32 degrees. These well known electrons serve to activate the body and improve vigour and vim. So hesitate no longer dear reader, but despatch your $117.00 immediately for this matching pair of his n’hers vigorous timepieces. Oh yes.  When temperature of the contact area 32 DEGC is above, the negative electron springs…

The Victorinox Voyager Lite. Q: How many oh-so-useful tools can one Swiss company wedge into their pocket gizgag before quantum space as we know it inverts uncontrollably? A: Twenty three so far. New for 2006, the integrated LED flashlight and digital alarm clock. Next month, the food processor and satellite television.   The new and especially important features of this latest pocket tool are the integrated white LED flashlight, the digital Clock with Alarm and Timer. Apart from these features this handy pocket tool…

The Qrisma 4GB 1” Portable Hard Disk . Four gigs in a rubberized matchbox. That’s sure a lot of Bee Gees tracks, eh? $109.00. [..a tad smaller and probably better value than the Imation Micro Drive?]   TRUE KEYCHAIN SIZE – 1” Portable HDD with 4.0 GB of Storage. Store thousands of your favorite photos, MP3’s and data files to anywhere. Ultra Portable & Light Weight USB 1.1 / USB 2.0 High Speed 90 Degree Swivel USB 2.0 Connector Anti-Vibration &…

Power Cop. Lock your power cord into this puppy and control the amount of time your grandma can spend playing Grand Theft Auto before doing her homework. What? Yeah, whatever. $29.95.  Power Cop securely manages the time Parents want to allow their kids to use electronic devices such as: Video Games, TV’s, Stereos, Computers, etc. (“Time Thieves”) By locking the power cord from a device such as a Video Game, TV, Stereo, Computer, etc. into the Power Cop’s secure lockable…

The MiMiture Electronic Ear Cleaner. Yes folks, Ferreting doesn’t get much more intimate than this. Stick the prong in yer lug-hole, switch on the pump and suck. Not, we suggest, the kind of thing to give your loved one as a Valentine’s Day present. Just saying. Around $85.00.  With that ear pick start. The ear scale which you take is sucked steadily. While feeling being moved the feel of feeling good suction force well by the ear, the usual way…

Philips VP-5500 Cordless Videophone. In one of those remarkable ‘under the radar’ moves that could only come from the Dutch, electronics powerhouse Philips has all-but-silently released this cool bit of Wi-Fi engineered videophone which runs Linux, is network upgradeable and allows you to watch your video calls on your television. Ooh, we hear you go, oooh. Nederlanden only at the moment though, so pah to you…  Thanks to its use of WiFi wireless connectivity, the VP5500 offers the full flexibility of…

The AquaVista 500. Wanna get weirdly recursive and make your head spin? Well you can now buy a fish tank – aquarium to you madam – which looks just like a fake plasma screen, mimicking a fish tank. If you get what we mean. $299.99 including wall mounting bracket.  The AquaVista 500 is a sophisticated, patent-pending, wall-mounted aquarium for live freshwater tropical fish that is designed to hang like a picture with frame. It comes with your choice of colorful…

The Cooler Master Notepal laptop tray. It’s aluminium, contains two fans, is designed to cope with wide-screen notebooks, is powered by the computer itself, and comes with 2 front-facing USB port extenders. But how’re ya going to fit it into your briefcase, hombre? Around $36.00.

Now here’s a USB lock that looks like it actually might work. The Lindy USB Port Lock comes in four pretty colours and does one simple job. Yes children it stops anyone from accessing your USB slot. So you can sleep soundly at night, confident that no-one is stealing those confidential files you ‘borrowed’ from the office. $14.99.  The USB Port Lock is made up of a combined ‘key’ and ‘lock’ assembly which plugs into the USB port. To use, simply…