The EFX Phone. A rather swish looking deskphone with a rather naughty purpose. Press a button and trigger any of eight ‘fun sound effects’. The perfect gift for the telemarketing victim in your family? The machine gun sounds -along with some suitable screams – should be good for a hoot! $19.50.  This sound effects telephone allows you to insert 8 fun sound effects into every call. The Wise Cracks phone helps get you off the phone quickly and drives annoying…

The Universal SIM Card Reader and Writer. Quick and dirty way of manipulating the data on your mobile phone SIM card without cable, infrared or other hassles. Just plug and play, which sounds good to me. You? $29.00.  This GSM Sim reader allows you to read, backup and modify information you may carry in your sim card. It allows you to store, read and edit phonebook data and sms messages.

Taperwire. Invisible speaker cable. Unroll it onto the walls like sticky tape, and paint over as necessary. From $22.50. Wonder whether it degrades the sound quality enough to notice?  No drilling necessary. Just press Taperwire on the wall and attach your speakers and sound system. Hidden by paint, wallpaper or spackle, this paper-thin wire will go unnoticed. You can even lay it under carpets—no bulges!

The USB Egg Shaped Radio. Well it’s a radio. Runs off USB. Shaped like an egg. With a headset socket. You want more? A blueprint perhaps? £6.99/$11.25.

Scarecrow Motion Activated Sprinkler. What an awesomely humane and yet effective way to keep pests like birds, unwanted wildlife and such off your turf. It senses the intruder and then sprays them with water. Heh! $62.95.  The Scarecrow is the smartest scarecrow ever invented. When it sees an intruder, it instantly sprays the trespasser with water under full garden hose pressure. It is completely harmless but extremely effective. The effect is both startling and immediate! Animals quickly get out of…

Little Feet Sock Savers. I am, like, so sick of losing single socks to that mysterious sock kidnapper they call ‘Mr Gone Missing’, that this product might just qualify for the all time Ferret Hall of Fame. £7.50.  Simply put the left and right sock into each of the openings in Little Feet. Whether they’re in the washing machine, tumble-dryer or on the washing line, each pair will stay together. Even the thickest sports socks and wool socks will be held firmly…

The Street Racer Mouse. Look calm down, calm down. It’s only an optical PC mouse that looks vaguely like a BMW with a scroll wheel on it’s hood. Or trunk. Anyway, it’s nothing to get excited about. Er…you are. Excited. Aren’t you? £12.99/$19.68.  The Street Racer optical (800DPI) mouse is lightweight, has – hang on a minute, it’s got headlights, nothing else matters. Except that it’s got tail lights too!! The headlights are always on, and the tail-lights go on…

Is there any connection between a solar powered Sunshine Buddy and a fair weather friend?  I think we need to know. $10.45 each.  Sunshine Buddies by Tomy swing their heads from side to side as long as there’s light. They’re solar powered, so no batteries are required; they work on the theory of perpetual motion. They relax your senses and invite you into a calming world. These buddies are your constant friends and ask nothing of you other than companionship…

Tell me father dear again, why exactly do I need this Jeep Remote Control Lantern that you have so kindly given me for my birthday? Is it to save my eyes, or is there something about the lavatories in our new home that I need to know? $19.95.  Great for blackouts, emergencies, camping or backyard entertaining, this portable lantern has 12 super-powerful LED bulbs that create a remarkable glowing white light. It comes with a convenient remote control that has…