The e-Acu Pen. Non invasive acupuncture therapy without needles. Next week, creating the perfect apple pie without apples. Yummy. £24.00.  Acupuncture stimulation in a clean and painless way. No needles or piercing of the skin required. Based on traditional Chinese medicine. Locates acupuncture points for stimulation with audible signal. Adjustable intensity and duration of treatments. Helps with the control of many ailments. Full instructions and diagrams included.

The Earlarm II is a personal alarm clock. Set it, stick it in your ear and…Price? Who cares?  Earlarm is the world’s first ear-holding timer alarming device. Its compact and light design aIIows you carry it wherever you are and whatever you do, during housekeeping,traveling, going to and coming home from office, studying, and so forth. You can set timing of alarm up to 7 hours and 50 minutes by 5 minute increment with 6 minute’s key and SO minute’s…

The Lotus ATS-909 Smart Toilet is the world’s first…ahem…enema dispensing loo seat. Complete with dryer, deoderizer, heated seat and remote control. Oh, and did we mention it’s a 20 minute DIY install? They’re also apparently available for sale in Flushing, New York…[OK, quit while you’re ahead – Ed]. $499.00.  Water stream with adjustable pressure and temperature washes the anal area, making the cleaning thorough and comfortable. This is a new level of personal hygiene. Good for everybody, especially those who suffer from…

The Karlsson Digi Bell Alarm Clock. A timepiece so cool it’s made my nose bleed. £30.00.  Innovative alarm clock designed for Karlsson by Elke van Raamsdonk .Chrome steel silver unit with red lcd display and alarm.

The uConnect VoIP socket plugs into a USB port and lets you make Internet phone calls (including Skype) using any standard DECT or wired landline phone. Pretty cool stuff, or am I missing something here? Around £39.99/$59.99.  Bringing endless opportunites to the choice of hardware for use with VoIP, cordless and DECT phones can be connected for wireless VoIP calls. The uConnect works perfectly with all Skype’s services; Skype users can hook any regular phone to it and experience amazing call management.

The Vidster is clearly a ‘catch ‘em young’ type of product. A small $80.00 plastic…cough…camcorder designed for youngsters. Quite why kids would want to mess with a grey plastic tacky-toy when they can happily drop the real thing that you’ve forgotten to move to a higher shelf is beyond me. Another unmarried marketing man’s dream?  It comes with a 32MB starter card, which will hold about six to eight minutes of video, at 320-by-240 resolution at 15 frames per second….

The TwinhanDTV Alpha. A mobile HDTV solution. It’s small, USB 2.0 powered and gives you HDTV and digital radio on your laptop. Complete with PVR features and…get this…direct to DVD live recording. So do stop your whining. Around £64.00.  High speed USB 2.0 transmission gives you superb resolution of HDTV without ghost and snow. The user-friendly software allows you to explore the versatile functionality of this product. Experience the impressive quality of HDTV, TwinhanDTV Alpha makes it just easier for…

A tale of two products. Spyfinder. $149.99.  Simply look through the viewing port and depress the button to activate the LEDs. Slowly scan areas where hidden cameras are suspected and look for bright reflected spots. Remember, most hidden video cameras use pinhole camera lenses, so the spot you are looking for could be small. Hidden Camera Locator. $3,190.00.  The way it works is very simple, you look through the View Finder, the VCL while “ON” emits a laser like beam,…