The KC Bearifone II Speakerphone. Scary phone more like. $150.00.  K.C. is irresistible. his mouth and eye movements are synchronized to a callers voice. his body is soft, plush and cuddly. The built-in speakerphone has a full-sized keypad. He also has a 3 position ringer, is fully modular and completely house trained!

Apparently the EZAV MP3 Pebble is a new piece of audio jewellery. 24g, USB 2.0, FM radio, OLED display, voice recorder and 3D stereo sound. Cute as a pebble too, eh? From around $130.00 for 512 MB.

The interesting thing about the I-Measure is that it not only measure distances using clever ultrasonics, but also calculates room areas like cubic feet and stuff. Tres useful. Oh and it also detects studs and electrical cables to stop you electrocuting yourself as you bang a nail into the wrong part of the kitchen wall. Around $46.00.

The Hook and Slice Talking Swing Meter. For golf. As in, ‘you’ve sliced it into the thorn bushes yet again dufus. Give it up already.’ Or something. £9.50/$18.01. Buy two, just in case one gets…ahem…broken.   The Hook / Slice Talking Swing Meter is an electronic golf coach offering instant audible feedback to let you master a winning swing. It’s precision engineered to sense your swing direction and speaker equipped to make an immediate announcement inc. “Hook!”, “Slice” or hopefully…

The Carson NM-1 NiteMax. How serious is your need to see in the dark, hombre? $289.99 worth serious? Then, dear friend, you probably should seek expert advice as soon as possible. Or invest in one of these Digital Nightvision thingies. It’s got an LCD screen and bucket loads of super tech, and will really go well with that Dracula outfit you’ve got hanging in the hall cupboard.  Advanced solid state circuitry provides 24 hour operation in any lighting condition…Carson’s NiteMax…

The Aran-Jecter Water Purifier. Pump oxygen into water to purify it. Not filter, pufiry. Or purify. Whatever. Why do we write this stuff? Because it is a civic duty. To entertain, obfuscate and confuse. To find products that cost $939.95 when a $5.00 filter will probably do. To trivialise. To banalify. To shut up now and go lie down.  The Aran-Jecter energizes the oxygen in the air and pumps it into water through the Aran Infuser. The resulting energized oxygen…

The Mobile Torch – Bank Note Detector. Strap one of these purple LED lamp units onto your mobile handset and you’ll never be hit with a fakeroony bank note again. Sure you’ll get some weird – maybe even pitying -looks from friends and family as you scan their currency en route to your wallet, but what the heck, it’s a free world ain’t it? $8.00.  Widely used for checking the articles with fluorescence anti-fake symbol such as bank note, valuable papers, ID…