The Send4Help System combines a SkyMinder GPS and GSM device with a 24 hour national response service to provide emergency assistance wherever you are. The Skyminder 500 costs £199.99 and the service subscription is £19.99 a month, so you really do need to feel quite vulnerable to justify one of these kits. Still, peace of mind is peace of mind, isn’t it?  How the SkyMinder 500 works. In the event of an emergency, simply raise the alarm by holding down simultaneously the…

The MiJam Guitar is a guitar simulator which you can use with your iPod to jam along to songs in a variety of styles like rock, blues and bass. Actually it sounds a bit like the Guitar Hero controller, but we’re not going to go there because life’s too short and Santa’s coming soon. £26.99.   Each Guitar has four sound styles including heavy metal, rock, blues and bass. These are easily selected with a push of a button on…

EchoBot is a voice recorder with a difference. Well quite a few differences really. For one thing it’s not square, chrome or dull. For another you can attach it to things via suckers or bendy legs. Finally it’s motion sensitive, so it will replay your recorded message as soon as someone approaches to within a metre. You’d better just hope that it’s the right person, eh? £9.95.  Record voice message of up to 10 seconds # Message is played back…

The G-Gorce Giant Atomic Clock. Complete with indoor and outdoor sensor thermometers and a remote control so you can operate it from Mars and still see the numerals loud and clear. No excuses any more for missing your family pick up times (providing the batteries hold up). $49.95.  The LCD is an incredible 13″ x 7.5″. So big, you can see it from just about anywhere. Framed by handsome oak, it looks just as wonderful hanging from a wall in your house…

The Pen-One Biometric Pen has a fingerprint reader embedded at the pointy end which authenticates a fingerprint in less than a second while you’re signing those all important documents agreeing to bail, or whatever. Presumably the only slight problem is that you’ve got to have a computer attached to said writing implement at all times in order to process the bio data, which could put a bit of a bulge in the business suit. Ah well…  Pen-One blends the tradition and comfort of…

The Decokichi Weird Mouse. OK, so it isn’t called that, but we don’t care. Because it is weird. Very weird. Not only is it covered with Swarovski crystals, but you operate it by tilting it in different directions, presumably triggering a gymbal or something. Which means that you can use it on sand, blankets or whatever. Check out the video if you don’t believe us. Weird. Around $135.00 in Yen like. [via AVING]

The Voyager Arcade Machine comes complete with 40 classic games like Donkey Kong, Frogger et al, an internal PC with 17” monitor and is hand crafted with love and dedication by a team of ex-Playstation marketing managers and their wives. Or something. £1675.00 says so much more about your street gaming cred than a Wii 360 PSP ever will.  The guts of this arcade machine is a quality control tested PC system that’s been developed for complete reliability to give you problem…

The 174 Sound Electronic Drumset. Look, we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. If you really must encourage young drummers in your family, please at least do it this way and let the rest of us get some sleep. They may look simple, but those flimsy looking headphones are all that stand between us, your neighbours, and the nearest funny farm. Please, just think of the wrinklies, won’t you? $399.95.  This electronic drum kit reproduces up to 174…

I’ve dubbed this puppy the Warped Webcam for obvious reasons. But apart from that I have absolutely no idea what it’s about, why the eye glows or why someone would think that chatting into a grimacing skull would make your personality shine on a video call. Ah well…getting too old.

The USB Piggy MoodiCare Clock. Well if the Therapie is the Rolls Royce of mood altering home furnishings, then this little porker is the Trabant. $16.50 buys you a colour shifting, digital displaying, cubic pig looking timepiece which is guaranteed to start a conversation if nothing else. Oink!  Living in a fast-paced society brings a lot of pressure and stress to people. According to scientists research, light and color change can bring a significant improvement on these problems. The Piggy…

The Therapie Mood Lamp. Is that pie, or py? Or lamp? Or art? Emits a ‘soothing aura’, which is nice isn’t it? Hmmm…guess you might need a bit of soothing if you’ve just shelled out $1099.00 for a fancy coloured wall lamp. Hey, but what do we know…?  A singular illuminated canvas inspired by color and light therapy theories which give it a soothing aura. The color photons emanating from the lamp reduce the everyday spleen and create a peaceful…

The AmberWatch Child Alarm. Horrible piece of technology to have to write about, but there you go. Sad. Anyway you strap this to your child and they can press the two buttons to sound a 115 decibel alarm and flickering lights. The alarm sounds for over half an hour. Oh, and it’s also a watch. $29.95.  # Press two buttons to trigger its four flashing red lights and its super-loud alarm. # Blasts an ear-piercing 115 decibels. # Flashes and blares for…

The Ondine ESS Tub fills your tub for you. Just set it and forget it. Right level, right temperature, right flavour (OK, we’re exaggerating that last bit). With optional remote control and presets for all the family. $5100.00. Alternatively, if a shower’s more your thing, how about a Grohtherm Wireless Shower? Just push a bedside button and the shower will be waiting for you at the right temperature and water flow by the time you reach the cubicle door. Pampered, moi?…

Pocket Plasma. This sound sensitive, clip-on pocket lightning pod is sure to get you talked about at parties. You know, the ones where people don’t have a lot to say to each other? Have fun. $45.00 in Danish equivalents.  The pocket plasma has a sound responsive mode and the lightning will move to your voice or music. The frame is clear glass…Clip pocket plasma to your shirt pocket, your jeans, the sun visor in your car, and almost anywhere else….