The Webguard Internet Timer. Control your life, your surfing, your desire, your children, your grandparents, your congressman, your garden gnome, your love. $119.97.  The Webguard is a programmable internet timer that was designed to give parents control of their family’s internet access via dial up/DSL modem. The compact, unobtrusive Webguard is simple to use and installs easily between the computer modem and wall jack. Internet access schedules can be programmed differently for weekdays and weekends. The programming mode is accessible…

The Floating Pool Thermometer with Remote Display. Now you can check the pool temperature from the comfort of your Lazee Fat Slob Korean Leatherette Couch, because it’s like, you know, too much effort to walk outside, dip toe into water and wince. $69.95.  Floating pool thermometer transmits readings to a wireless indoor display! # Without going outside, you can check the water temperature of your pool or spa from as far away as 100 feet — thanks to the thermometer’s…

The Magis Multipot. A hybrid, multifunctional…er…LED lamp. Which also doubles as a power socket and gadget bucket. So who on earth thinks these things up, eh? €152.25.  MultiPot is a hybrid, multifunctional lamp, which combines a LED ambient light, a Multisocket, and a lower, vase-shaped, containing space to tidy away any extra cabling. MultiPot achieves new convenience standards, both in the home and at work, by respecting both the old traditional requirements (for example somewhere to put keys or other…

The SOL8 Solar Generator Briefcase. Completely self sufficient geek power, as long as you avoid tunnels. For prolonged periods. $139.95.   This incredibly handy package of power is great to run laptops, small electric hand tools, DC refrigerators, GPS systems, portable electronics, and a whole lot more! It’s also great to charge your batteries. The two powerful solar panels generate 13 watts of power. That’s 14VDC at a working current of 750mA! That’s more than the average plug-in power supply!

The D. I. VOX FM Clock Radio. Haw haw, dose klever Svedish dezigner peoples. Dey haf ripped open ze radio boxen and turned it inside out. So now ve must play ze muzik from ze speaka lurkink inside. Haw haw. And zen zey are chargink us around $130.00 for ze fun and laff. Haw Haw. [special notice – no Swedish people were harmed in the crafting of this post]

The Sazo GSM Tracker. Track, monitor, communicate. Uses standard cell triangulation to keep track of…well whatever you want really. And it’s got a shiny chrome effect too. Whooo! £5.99 a month with extra for location requests.  The Sazo GSM shares with the Sazo GPS the ability to act as a two-way communications device, with special buttons for fast dialing and SMS messaging to predefined contacts. Like the Sazo GPS, it also has an SOS button that can be used to…

The MP3 Alarm Clock. So what, we hear you ask, could possibly be interesting about this thing, eh? Well, it’s white. It’s got 128 MB of RAM, it has a USB port. Er..it’s white. Did we mention that? Did we? £39.99/$64.38.  The MP3 Alarm clock is a cute and compact cube that really took us by surprise. We get sent simply loads of MP3 players, MP3 speakers and the like, and quite frankly many of them get binned in seconds for…

The Digital Holy Qur’an. Read the text, listen to the recitations, improve your knowledge? $68.40.  This product allows you to listen to Full Qur’an Recitation, while reviewing Arabic text in Uthmanic fonts as well as English or French translation text… Full Holy Qur’an (114 Surahs, 6236 verses), Riyadh As-Saliheen, Tafseer Al-Jalalain Two Holy Qur’an Recitations in one device Automatic five daily Salat Time with Adhan & Qibala Direction of more than 2800 cities of the world…

Underwater Light Show. Apparently there are those for whom green algae is not enough. They require multicoloured lighting extravaganzas displayed on their pool floor. Well good luck. We will stick with yellow ducks in white bathtubs. $19.98.  Enliven your nighttime pool parties with this floating Underwater Light Show. Red, blue, green, and orange lights flash in five different patterns. Select just the one you want or let them occur at random. Water-tight plastic globe floats on the surface and throws…

The Happy Hacking Keyboard Pro 2. $256.40 buys you a touch typists dream and a fumble thumbs’ nightmare. Complete with two USB ports. What is this sudden designer urge to make things more difficult? Sheesh! More here.

The Hula Chair. No prizes for guessing what this puppy does. Yep, it hulas. [Er is that a verb? – Ed]. The idea seems to be that an auto-gyratory motion can be healthy. Mmm… $199.95.  This modern miracle combines the best of ancient traditional Chinese medicine with 21st century space-age technology. Improve your balance and coordination as it gently aligns your spine and improves blood circulation. You’ll love how it feels as it works out your abs and mid-section. And…

The WavBoard CM3 Cellular Router. Rather uninspiring design masks a rather interesting product. A cellular broadband router to let you surf on the move. I have absolutely no idea whether this works as advertised, but the concept definitely seems useful.  The WavBoard CM3 is $379.00 on Sprint’s broadband network. An unlimited data plan is only $59.99 monthly with a qualifying Sprint or Nextel voice plan. Internet speeds average 500-800 Kbps with bursts over 2 Mbps. High-speed service is currently available…

USB Mouse with Laser Pointer and Thermometer. These gizmos make a mockery of the whole of civilisation. If Nature had meant for us to have temperature monitors embedded in our meece, we would have been given Duracell toes. Pfaff! $18.00.  This USB Optical Mouse comes with Laser Pointer and Thermometer which can measure the temperature.

The Caller ID Shower Radio Clock. Hands up all those who’ve had to clamber out of the shower to grab a ringing phone, only to discover it was a wrong number, or worse the mother-in-law? Well then, you might want to invest in one of these puppies. Singin’ in the rain, plus a caller ID for knowin’ what’s a glowin’. $49.95.  With the help of our Caller ID in Shower Clock Radio, you’ll be able to check traffic for your…

Quick Top. Convert that can into a screw top and keep your hands offa my stash. Neat idea, but you can tell it’s been invented deep in the bowels of some fanatic’s basement, can’t you? £2.99.  A clever little device that simply snaps onto the top of a can and allows you to re-seal it with a screw-top rather than having to drink it all in one go. It’s leak-proof, re-useable and the cap can be inverted and used as…